Summer Time and the Living Means We’ve Been Lazy

Sorry for the silence recently. We at the Chronicles have been very busy the past weeks but we’re back, we’ve got nothing but free time on our hands and nothing but loving attention to lavish upon the blog. So here is what we’ve missed:

The Hershey Bears are in the Calder Cup finals against the Texas Stars. I, Meghan, was at Game 1. It was fun though they lost and it took me five hours to drive there though it is only a three-hour drive.

It looks as though Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, Jose Theodore, will not be coming back next season. I’m torn on this because though Jose Theodore was beyond amazing this season well Contract Year Jose and Non-Contract Year Jose maybe two different species as we’ve seen before.

Eric Fehr and Eric Belanger are in negotiations with the Capitals however Walker and Corvo will not be invited back. Can we call backsies on the Corvo trade?

Reebok Zigtech – Ovechkin from soundscape music + sounddesign on Vimeo.

While I’m still not sure why hockey players are promoting tennis shoes here is Ovie’s Zigtech commercial. He plays hockey against some bears so obviously it’s rather dry, straight forward and boring.

A translated video from a Russian parody program during the Olympics. Ovie sounds like Ringo Star.

Friend of the Blog Russian Machine Never Break continues their “Gordo’s Take” series with Hershey Bear’s Andrew Gordon.

Ted’s buying the Wizards was approved. He now owns the Verizon Center and has started a new company called Monumental Sports and Entertainment. Things are looking good in Caps Land.

Every. Single. Summer. Why Ovie? WHY?

Versteeg raps. I pretend I’m not dying a lot inside.

JR shows what is amazing about hockey players (remembering a kid who was crying in 1992 after you let him down? Heartbreaking) Milbury reminds me why I want nothing more than to punch him in the jeans.

Alexandre Giroux may sign in the KHL next year. Why maybe not a big blow the the Caps, the Bears (AND MY HEART) would suffer a good blow from it.

That seems to be all we missed… though I feel like I’m forgetting something…

Oh yeah! Congrats to the 2010 Blackhawks for winning the Stanley Cup! We like them and anyone but Philly am I right?

SO CONGRATS AGAIN NOW WATCH DRUNK PARADE PATRICK KANE SHAKE HIS ASS AT YOU. DO IT! http://kanerdance.ytmnd.com/

The Brothers Semveckin

This is perhaps the most epic thing I’ve seen… perhaps ever. Big props to Russian Machine for finding this:

Here is the link to the actual page but I took a screen cap to keep it forever and ever. And, drum roll please!

… Just as good as promised, yes? Come on Yahoo! Answers CANADA; I thought CANADIANS knew EVERYTHING that EVER happened and FOREVER that will happen in hockey… ever.

Let’s dissect this:

1. “Is Alex Oveckin and Alex Semin brothers?” Are… ARE Alex Ovechkin and Alex Semin brothers…

2. Yes, see it’s a devious Russian plot to make you confused. You see their names are spelt completely different but are pronounced exactly the same way.

3. Mama Semveckin named BOTH her boys Alexander. Because, then you can yell their names and not have one go “Mom! I’m ____” See? No messing up names. Brilliant, Mama Ovecksem.

3. And, come on I mean aren’t Russians all related in that weird Communist way? Like a big hippie commune but a country.

4. Oveckin is #8… Semin is #28 like the second eight. Duh.

5. NOTE: His argument is he thought they might be related because Patrick Sharp and Patrick Kane are related….

Yes. A thousand times yes.

This is Pat Sharp:

This is Pat Kane:

The resemblance is undeniable.

Everything makes sense now. Ohhh the cat is out of the bag, Canada, the cat is out of the bag! Patrick Kane is clearly a double agent sent by Canada to make Americans look like silly, cab driver beating, limo pants taking off, greasy hair having, mullet wearing, pupils always suspiciously too large, Rich and Big singing fools. I always chalked it up to the fact that he is from Buffalo (cue Anna telling me to stop making fun of Buffalo) and because he is 21-year-old male… and American.

But, now Canada it all  makes sense. Admit it you devious Canucks. Your names are probably really Sharp Patrick and Kane Patrick. Ohhh you evil genius you, you thought you could fool us, Patrick brothers. We are on to you Kane and Sharp, but we’ll wait until after the Stanley Cup finals to report you to INS, Kane.

So yes, B4USTAR, Alexander Ovechkin and Alexander Semin are brothers;

Brothers from another mother, yeaaaaaaaah!

Round One of the NHL Playoffs

Playoffs is the busiest time of the year for the Chronicles. Our days are school/Caps (or whatever hockey is on)/eat/more work. Sleep? No time for that nonsense. And, the blog has been all Caps. So let’s take this opportunity to see what’s going on in the other series now that round one is beginning to come to a close.  

THE EAST:

Flyers vs. Devils

(Credit to NHL.com)

Flyers win the series 5-1

Wow I don’t think anyone expected the Flyers to knock out the Devils in round one. And, Devils only won one of their games. The Flyers will be the team the winner of Caps/Montreal faces.

You can find anything you’d ever want to know about this series on NHL.com’s Flyers/Devils matchup section.

Buffalo vs Boston

Bruins have the series lead 3-1

Another ummm… what? The Bruins weren’t into the playoffs in to the second to last game and the Sabres have Ryan Miller in goal. Game 5 is tonight at 7 it’s do or die for Olympic American hero Ryan Miller and his Sabres.

More information on this series at NHL.com 

Senators vs Penguins

Penguins lead the series 3-2

This series isn’t going to end easy. The Senators have well exceeded expectations and I stayed up to watch all three OTs the games went into last night  (longest game in Senators history by the way). No matter how this ends, and at this point I’m not entirely sure where this series is going, the Senators have a lot to be proud of. Game six for this series is tomorrow night at seven.

All you want to know about this series on NHL.com.

THE WEST:

Sharks vs Avalanche

Sharks lead the series 3-2

I admit this is the series I’ve probably payed the least attention to so I don’t have to much to say opinion wise besides that it looks like San Jose has broken out of that “playoff chokers” stereotype they have with a 5-0 win last night. Pavelski is from what I heard playing just absolutely out of his mind this series.

For everything you need to know about the Colorado/San Jose series.

Canucks vs Kings

Series is tied 2-2

I take back what I said THIS is the series I’ve unfortunately had not enough time for. I thought this match up would be pretty even and it appears to be so. Game 5 is tonight at 10 pm (on the East Coast).

More on this series.

Coyotes vs Red Wings

Series tied 2-2

This is a very exciting series. For reasons illogical to me quite a few people wrote of Phoenix before the series started. These games are fun to watch and I admit I’m on the Phoenix bandwagon at the moment, they’re a feel good story what can I say? I’m a sucker for a team of sleep walking, ice cream eating, goof balls. Game 5 tonight at 10 pm (East Coast time)

All you need to know about this series.

Blackhawks vs Predators

Series tied 2-2

This is the most surprising series of the West and maybe of the playoffs. I don’t think even Preds fans expected them to do so well. However the Blackhawks started to look like themselves again last night with a 3-0 win last night (or so I heard Versus did not show the game due to the Pens and Sens game) Game 5 is tomorrow night at 3 pm.

All you need to know.

That is your NHL playoffs round one so far wrap up. Later today you, me, AHL playoffs round one wrap up; let’s do this.

Weird and Wacky Search Terms

Weird and Wacky search terms soldiers on; you can break my computer but you can’t break WWST spirit!

Nicklas Backstrom blof pics

I’m not sure I feel comfortable googling exactly what “Blof” is. It sounds like a deviant sex act.

capsinguyliner

It’s called a space bar; use it.

Alexander Semin never smiles

LIES!

(thanks to the fabulous @subtlelikebrick)

Adam Burish cute

As a female blogger I’m not really supposed to comment on that…. but umm… what was I talking about?

Things i wish i could unsee

MUWHAHAHA TRY AND UNSEE THAT!

Backstrom to Leafs

(http://puckdaddy.com)

Alex Ovechkin tramp stamp

…Sigh…

Blog Brooks Laich

“Absolutely not”

Gay Ovechkin and Semin pictures

You guys are mean.

Youtube Video Hockey

If you loved Thriller Goalie you’ll love Soulja Boy Forward! Funny hockey videos is a post for another time!

Weird and Wacky Search Terms: Oh Jeez Patrick.

Got some good pictures for weird and wacky this week. Thank you, internet.

Adam Burish and Patrick Kane with Miley

We’re gonna pretend this never happened…

Jackets that say oh shit

Brooks Laich speak french

You wish…

David Steckel in winter olympics 2010

Awww but no.

Staal farm

I agree who ever wrote this caption, I agree. (Thanks Anna the Chronicles keeper of Staal pictures.)

Joe Finley south carolina stingrays arrested

(naplesnews.com)

Oh man I hope they mean the lawnmower thing and he didn’t get arrested again.

Canada vs U.S. hockey cartoon

 

Ovechkin on milk carton

A team Canada  fan should have done that but all I found on Google was this.

Sorry About That Face

Random ramblings once again because we are really missing the NHL right now:

• Your random embaressing Caps photo of the week:

Neuvirth appears to be thinking:

• Your weekly poorly photoshopped photo:

An astute reader noted in the last Caps look-a-likes that Semin looks like rock star Jon Bon Jovi. D’AH! How have we not noticed this before?! And, Semin in Bon Jovi’s 80′s hair would be nothing shot of epic:

I should not be allowed to own Photoshop.

• The Hockey News checks in with retired fan favorite and forever Capital Olie Kolzig
• I don’t know who forgot to mention to Patrick Kane the “good looking” figure skaters who wanted to meet him were men but I owe them a high five.
• The team USA hockey twibbon (I made by the way…) has reached over a hundred supporters… team Canada hockey only has 31… JUST SAYING.
• “It’s a blinding white light like a Canadian just took his shirt off.” Brilliant as always Stephan Colbert talks the Olympics
• Bears broke/tied two AHL records in one night one for consecutive home wins and Bryan Helmer notched his 386th career assist to tie an AHL record for assists by a defenseman.
• Hershey to DC blog puts up their first ever post game interview after the Bear AHL record 20th consecutive home win:

• Your random piece of random:

This isn’t new I just enjoy it…

An Old Post Returns

So because I could not come up with an original post idea (though I do have a potential Caps look-a-likes post coming up if I have enough that aren’t lame) So I thought I would just link some stuff in the most triumphant return of: MID-WEEK BABBLINGS! (if you weren’t a reader during the off season this is something I did quite often)

The Dark Blue Jacket would like to remind his team to keep Milan. And, I hope they do unless of course the Caps would like him back.

There’s something I never needed to see… Okay maybe a little. Oy vey go to the Blackhawks offical wordpress (they are so damn fancy) for more pictures and go to here to find out what in the hell is happening in that photo.

Wonderful World of Loser Domi says goodbye to the former Leafs player I liked to refer to as  the Delicate Princess.  Keep an eye out for those darn soccer balls in Calgary.

The Blackhawks did a Ladies Man video . Quite few Cap fans said Burish pales in comparison to the Caps ladies man. I for one have no opinion because I am not allowed to have an opinion because I am a lady hockey blogger and there fore am expected to be nothing but professional and pretend I have never noticed that Burish is about as good looking as Laich because that would be wrong of me as a lady hockey blogger but it’s totally cool for a male blogger to say it.

Keep up with the Blackhawks Kane and Versteeg graced us with a duet at a recent Blackhawks charity event. I can’t even; I confess I couldn’t even watch the whole video:

The always brilliant Down Goes Brown and Bloge Salming banded together once again to make a hilarous video. The Canadian’s Olympic Welcoming Song:

General consensus amongst fans was this is the most hilarous Caps related thing we’ve ever seen on the internet. Thank you as always NHLol

And, this photo whose source I do not know is general consensus the cutest damn thing ever.

Capitals Redline Mondays came back tonight. Why I know the “mondays” isn’t actually part of the name for some reason it is stuck in my head that way. My biggest complaint? Who in the heck in this “Lou” guy during the “Forces of Hockey” segment (some prof. at the UVA apparently) and WHERE IS PROFFESOR BRADLEY?! (yes, it’s spelled with two “F”s)

Weird and Wacky Search Terms

It would seem for this Weird and Wacky Search Terms our search term box was invaded by people searching for the Blackhawks and Bears.

Can Jonathan Toews speak german?

No, but that’d be so awesome! I do know he speaks French (so no sassing in the comments about it)

(PS. of course I photoshoped that sillies if J. Toews was ever really in lederhosen I’d be dead of laughter)

Neuvirth looks Asian

Yes, yes he does.

Keith and Brent Seabrook

 

Keith Seabrook – he used to be a Caps prospect and then he wasn’t. Now I have sad.

Brent Seabrook and Duncan Keith

It’s just man love m’kay?

Hershey Bears bus

Unless it’s a really cool bus with like a giant bear on the side, or even beter a giant spirit bear on top ala the Olympic opening ceremonies, leave the poor children alone.

Daren Puppa Goalie

THIS Daren Puppa goalie? Haha yes that is a picture of the action figure I own (taken by Anna) I don’t know why I own one either. Well I do I got swindled by an old lady.

The Hockey Chronicles

Thaaaaaaat’s ME! Does no one else remember that show?

Ovechkin Selfish 

You would be selfish too with a body like that (*shudders* I’m so sorry you had to see that. Put a shirt on Ovie, bejeezus)

How can u tell if someone is around ur h

No, what what does it say?!  It’s too long it cut off! What is it? How can you tell is someone is around your h- horse? house? hockey sticks? hockey goal… DID TOM POTI GOOGLE THAT?!

BONUS!

So this isn’t a search term but while making this I ran into this photo:

Oh man even I can’t handle the cuteness.

Which made me this of this photo:

*Boop!*

It’s the least I owed you after the Ovie picture.

The Whole Story

Everyone has seen and got a chuckle out of the photos of the Blackhawk players par-taying in their recent trip to Canada. It’s not that they’re scandalous; just amusing. But I agree with the insulted fan (girls) these pictures are OBVIOUSLY taken out of context!

Obviously, the players were having a fun night at the hotel playing a rousing game of UNO when they all became hungry and since hotel room service was closed our intrepid travellers being the team loving men they are volunteered to run out.

So after picking up some snacks and adult beverages (hey, they’re all over age now) they were driving back when they noticed some nice young ladies with a broken down car! Being nice young men they offered these nice young ladies a ride back to their home. It would be a bit squished but they wouldn’t let these nice young ladies decline the offer to help. They also offered them some of the snacks and drinks like nice young men of course.

Well some of these young ladies had no jackets! Kane and Madden being perfect gentleman offered them their shirts, I mean it’s winter!

And, Versteeg put his sunglasses on, even though it’s night out, to act out the story of the time he helped a old blind man cross the street.

And, then I took his hand like this, yup just like how you’re holding it, and guided him across the street

Patrick then asked what the nice young ladies thought of the “Pants on the Ground” song. The young ladies had no idea what that was! They’re Canadian they didn’t know about American idol. So Patrick bravely took one for the team and did a haunting redition of “Pants on the Ground” for these American pop culture deprived young ladies.

“Pants on the ground/pants on the ground/lookin’ like a fool with your pants on the ground.”

They then dropped the nice young ladies at their home and returned back to the hotel. They then stayed up to a scandelous eleven thirty at night playing Scrabble and promptly went to bed.

Thanks to the Orland Kurtenblog from whom I stole all these photos from: http://bit.ly/coQXhF

What If?

 You’ve all had those moments when your some where random like the metro, the supermarket, or the street and you see a guy and think “Wow that looks like if  _______ and _______  could possibly have a kid.” Of course they can’t because it’s two guys he looks like. Well I was introduced to morphthing.com and decided to morph together some of our favorite buddies and here we go:

Ovie/Semin

(That baby is actually very cute; count me suprised I mean one of them is called “the Caveman”)

Green/Brooks 

Gordon/Bradley

Kane/Toews

Burish/Sharp

The things you can do on the internet are rather wonderous… and totally useless…