Ten Things: Why You, UFA Player, Should Sign with the Caps

T’was the night before Free Agent Frenzy and all through the league, all the GMs were stirring, preparing for big trades. The blank jerseys were hung by the jersey lettering stations with care, in hopes there would soon be a new name to put on there. Your bloggers were nestled all snug at their desks, visions of all the reasons free agents should sign to their team dancing in their head;

1. Our Russians know how to party.

2. Matt Bradley will organize your trash and recyclable for you. (Though he may punch you in the junk. LOVINGLY, of course.)

3. It is rumored Green hides cookies in various places around Kettler… SHHHHH it’s a secret…

4.Backstrom will babysit your kids but he’ll probably need a babysitter also.

Which is baby Nicki and which is adult Nicki? Your guess is as good at mine.

5. Mike Green and Eric Fehr have grill duty covered at cook outs! 

BRAAAAAAAAAAAASH! *single tear*

6. Knuble… will probably just nap a lot but hey that will make you feel like a youngin’ again!

Pssst… Don’t stare at his eye… STOP IT!

7. Your hair will always look good… well as long as you are standing next to Varlamov.

Look at all the hair gel that hair soaks up. Hey! I think we found a solution to plugging up the oil spill… SEND THAT MAN TO THE GULF!

8. Your table manners will look amazing next to Semin’s.

9. Our team has a resident car mechanic.

10. If the cable is ever out It’s probably really funny to mess up Brooks Laich’s uber organized pantry and watch him freak out.

BONUS: You’ll also you learn new geography I mean tell me you all did not go “Where the hell is ‘Jurmala’?” Hey at least I know where Latvia is.

From my 8th grade history class: Remember ELL; Estonia, Latvia, Lithuania!

Weagle Scout Playoff Edition ’10: Washington at Monteal Game 4 Series 1

Both teams came out flying in the first. The Habs were throwing the body, the Caps were driving offensively. The Habs do to their aggressiveness took a penaty about 40 seconds in, which it would have been a great hit if it hadn’t been well behind the play, but the Capitals did not convert on the power play until the second penalty about eight minutes in when Ovechkin scored. Only a minute or so later Cammalleri evened it up. The first period ended 1-1.

The second period was the Caps turn to take penalties. Despite giving the Habs, one of the best power plays in the league, three PPs the Habs only scored on one, a Gionta goal. Knuble scored on the third Caps penalty a SHG. The second period ended 2-2.

The third period was all Caps. Despite the Habs only taking two penalties (both on Carey Price), which the Caps did not score on either of those power plays, the Caps scored four times. Ovechkin, Chimera, Knuble (empty netter), and Backstrom (also empty netter) all scored. Moore scored for the Habs in between the Knuble and Backstrom ENs. The game ended in regulaton 6-3.

So with such awesome success who is our Weagle Scout of the Game?

Semyon Varlamov

It’s been a while Semyon but with many, many sparkling saves (our defense… just oy vey sometimes) deserves the distinction of Weagle Scout of the Game. Though it’s concerning Varly only seems to show up in important games.

Others with the distinction of Jr. Weagle Scout; still Boyd Gordon, the man is on fire and Nick Backstrom, five playoff goals and after his empty netter while passing in front of the Montreal bench Cary Price two hand smacked him with his stick and Nicki just gave him a smirk. One not classy Cary, two kiddos on not freaking out Nicklas; always killing them with kindness.

The series is 3-1 Caps.

Weagle Scout Playoff Edition ’10: Washington at Montreal Game 3 Series 1

And you all were worried! The Caps came out in the first period and tore it up. It was very intense and most importantly the Caps played THEIR game though it was still could go any ones way. We end this period goose eggs 0-0.

But, what turned the tide for the Caps to REALLY play well was a short handed goal by Boyd Gordon, I don’t think he’ll be scratched again. Then Brooks Laich scored. Then Eric Fehr! Jaroslav Halak (who I love from the Olympics) was pulled and Carey Price came in for Montreal. Then Ovehckin scored! Which lead to an awkward Man-Love fueled celebration between Nicklas and him. The Habs took a lot of penalties and were clearly frustrated. 2nd period ends 4-0 Caps.

We came out for the third feeling good. Then Plekanec scored. This was a pivotal moment if the Caps let them score again too soon after that they could start a blazing comeback. 4-1 where have we seen that before? However they keep the Habs off. THEN MOTHER LOVING MATT BRADLEY SCORED! Yes it is indeed now playoff time, Matt. We end this game 5-1 Caps.

But with all this awesomesauceness who is our Weagle Scout of the Game?

ERIC FEHR!

The man had an amazing game what can I say? Goal, assists, in general AWESOMEness.

Some Jr. Weagle Scouts? Boyd Gordon is having the (two he played) playoffs games of this life and Jason Chimera; what a little smart pest!

Game on for Wednsday, still have a bit to be working (power play scoring please?) and still in Montreal. This series is now 2-1 Caps.

Well That Was Silly

That game was at times hilarious, at times tragic, and at times rather boring. Timmy Tomas freaking out on Chimera was mother loving HILARIOUS! My face when Boyd Gordon came on the ice for the shoot out: Priceless “Is that BOYD?” I said when he rolled on to the ice. That was the perfect cap to my regular season. I loved being at the VC and getting my free umbrella, rally towel, and ANOTHER Caps hat (which I don’t wear hats and I have a bunch of free ones I’ve picked up over the years lying around the house). I bought the Caps yearbook and a Backstrom puck because I need MORE random hockey crap.

Our Weagle Scout:

THE WHOLE TEAM

Guys we lost but gosh darn it they’ve given us the best season of hockey in my short life! I’ve NEVER had any expectations from this team. Back when half these guys weren’t on the team and they were in the black and gold jerseys I knew they had loads of  potential but the problem was would it pan out or not? I didn’t care! The fact the boys finished first in the East and are going into the playoffs is more than I ever imagined! Two seasons ago we were barely making the playoffs! I’ve always been proud to call myself a Caps fan but these boys are heart breakingly good.

But, enough sissy effusions! We have a bunch of French Canadians to be kicking the butt of! NON! HABS! NON!

Here’s some pictures I took at warm ups usually I’d just through them on Flickr but I had a fancy DSLR camera I borrowed from a buddy so I’ll share them straight up:

I see your playoff moustache is coming in nicely, Jose.

I love how they have the exact same dopey eyed expression on.

I’m waiting for the magic playoff porno ‘stache! Do not disappoint!

He looks like a hate powered super hero.

“Another game, another bunch of rapid fan girls, uh my life is so hard! Whatevvver.”

Awkward juxtaposition…

Obligatory Green shot.

That shot is not quality but the look Tom Poti is giving Green cracks me up.

Obligatory Brooks shot

NEUVY FACE ON VARLY’S FACE!

Okay I’m sure I’ve tortured you all enough with picture time. Oh but one last one:

My sign for Jeff “Mr. Nasty” Schultz (ghetto tape job a last-minute emergency fix!)

Oh and sad Chronicles girls! Half the fun of seeing the Caps play the Bruins was to see our second favorite Slovak player Chara and he didn’t even play.

Weird and Wacky Search Terms

Smoothest man alive

Oh, you mean Mike Green?

Brooks Laich secret nickname

At THC, we call him “Cougar Bait”. Though, I’m not sure it’s so secret anymore.

Backstrom nickname

He’s Fudgeball, of course!

Patrick Kane training

Obviously this doesn’t happen very often

Semyon gay boy

*sniggers* No self-respecting gay boy would dress like this:

 

Funny photo Washinghton Capitals

Oh, like this?

 Arch enemy cap

Not exactly sure what this is talking about, buttttttt, we here at THC have an arch enemy, whether he knows it or not.

Ovechkin bubble gum

thehockeychronicles.com

Hopefully, when we’re not broke, we’re splurge for the $5 fee and get a domain name that’ll redirect here.

When Varlamov return

He has (coughunfortunatelycough). Three guesses for which games he has played in.

Nick Jonas

Stop. Searching. This. We have received over 100 hits because of some fangirls searching “Nick Jonas”. Leave. Us. Alone. And for good measure, have this (again):

Sorry About That Face

Random ramblings once again because we are really missing the NHL right now:

• Your random embaressing Caps photo of the week:

Neuvirth appears to be thinking:

• Your weekly poorly photoshopped photo:

An astute reader noted in the last Caps look-a-likes that Semin looks like rock star Jon Bon Jovi. D’AH! How have we not noticed this before?! And, Semin in Bon Jovi’s 80′s hair would be nothing shot of epic:

I should not be allowed to own Photoshop.

• The Hockey News checks in with retired fan favorite and forever Capital Olie Kolzig
• I don’t know who forgot to mention to Patrick Kane the “good looking” figure skaters who wanted to meet him were men but I owe them a high five.
• The team USA hockey twibbon (I made by the way…) has reached over a hundred supporters… team Canada hockey only has 31… JUST SAYING.
• “It’s a blinding white light like a Canadian just took his shirt off.” Brilliant as always Stephan Colbert talks the Olympics
• Bears broke/tied two AHL records in one night one for consecutive home wins and Bryan Helmer notched his 386th career assist to tie an AHL record for assists by a defenseman.
• Hershey to DC blog puts up their first ever post game interview after the Bear AHL record 20th consecutive home win:

• Your random piece of random:

This isn’t new I just enjoy it…

Sticky Statements

So the Capitals, much like the blog lately, have been sporadic. I don’t know what to make of this recent half game sort of playing nor do I have any solutions.

Perhaps, surprisingly, our most valuable asset of late is indeed goal tender Jose Theodore. And, I am a some what fan of our rookie goaltender Semyon Varlamov’s playing, at times, and the race between veteran, rookie, and prospect (Michal Neuvirth; Hershey Bears) is rather interesting to watch. It’s neck in neck for the most part though Michal Neuvirth is out DTD with a lower back injury; poor man who just got off IR can’t seem to catch a break. (Braden Holtby of the SC Stingrays with be playing in Hershey for a while)

Now as with most goaltender races it’s very professional and civil but a recent thing Varly said has me in two minds;

“After the win in Atlanta, Caps’ Varlamov told SovSport that the team concentrates more on the game when he’s in goal… Hmm…”
- Dmitry Chesnokov
(http://twitter.com/dchesnokov/status/5306831699)

It’s difficult to say out of context whether this was Varlamov making a simple statement; that he feels that they play with more focus or confidence while he is in goal; Or did he mean it sort of catty? Like the team trusts him in goal more than Jose (and therefore he expects more play time) I can’t say I’ve noted them playing more confident with one or the other in goal so lets look at game by game stats as provided by http://www.capitals.nhl.com

I’m not sure how much that tells you. There’s only so much stats can tell. I can’t say I personally have been overly impressed by Varlamov so far and Jose has impressed me a cautious amount. Varlamov has won five games to Jose two.

Either way our young goal tender meant that statement I don’t think the team plays any differently with him in goal than Jose.

Back of the Milk Cartoon Time

Okay so the game tonight agianst the ‘Hawks was crazy and cardiac inducing as usual but the Caps won which is whats important and I’d like to just not deal with all the things the Caps did wrong and how pulling it out of their asses does not make it okay but I’m emotionally drained because:

KRIS VERSTEEG HAS GONE MISSING! About half way through the third I noticed his name not being mentioned but I thought little of it but then everybody on Twitter who was watching it on TV noticed he hadn’t come out on the ice at all for a while and no one knew what had happened. NO! Not Kris! Not my ‘Steegs! What happened?! Was it a Cap?! No no! Surely my baby Capitals would never hurt a fly! The couldn’t hit Versteeg that hard! That would be like punching a puppy! Or Nicki! They wouldn’t! They couldn’t! (UPDATE: I found out after about five second of posting this he has an upperbody injury not considered to be serious… I’m not happy about this)
This game was like the game of hockey player disapearing hell. So the roster said Green was on it… Green said on Twitter he was going… I don’t hear his name AT ALL. So I’m getting really angry! I mean how dare he suck! I’m bagging on him. Then I see on Twitter DURING the game from him that he’s looking forward to watching the fight tonight. “Okay either he isn’t playing or I’m going to kill him!” I thought. So I find out that he was NOT Tweeting during the game but that he DIDN’T go on the trip and he has a free pass this time.

(I wrote this bit earlier before I was upset but it merits mentioning)
Put your fancy pants on those crazy Chronicles girls are heading down to Kettler in what appears to becoming quite the regular occurance. And I shall finally get down to the question bothering me since the end of August! Is Alexander Semin’s hair cut for real of it just a magical illusion?

Allow me to complain. Twenty freaking bucks for a picture with a Capital at the convention? And how stiff and awkward would it be anyway? If I’m going to pay twenty bucks for an awkward moment well I don’t know what I’d be paying for an awkward moment for. I don’t know if I’m willing to do it. Even if one of them is Semin which amazes me that he was convinced into doing that. Maybe our little Emo Kid is coming our of his shell? Or maybe the fact Semyon is doing it also, which also confuses, means that Ovechkin managed to convince those two to put up with the crazy fans, puckbunnies, and in Semyon’s case unfashionable Americans. And then the other I’m willing to pay for maybe is Nicki. Love those two but can I do it? And how exactly is the photo taken. You just stand next to each other stiffly and smile? All I can imagine is the mall Santa Claus. And that is super creepy. Shake that picture out of your head.

Potsy What Will You Say Next?

Had to return to classes today. Big whoopee doo. Not much going on in the hockey world so this will be a rant post..

I really wish Varly wasn’t so adorable. I really do. I’m still angry at that man. http://capitals.nhl.tv/team/console.jsp?catid=-6&id=45978 It doesn’t help that when I saw him at rookie camp he was being all buddy buddy with Kugy who I adore.

Something from Twitter the NHL official feed was interview a bunch of players for the media week in NY for the website. Kane said “NHL players are good looking.” Who even brought up such a question that could lead to such an answer? I mean true very true but awkward. I mean sure we all make gay implications and double entendres and jokes in regards to our both favorite and most hated players every once in a while, don’t pretend you don’t! But, wow huh embrace it Potsy, embrace it.

Am I the only one who found the fact NHL.com put the story about Crosby and that old women in THREE different places on the main page quite excesive? A tab that was the main tab for a while, right under that in the top videos/shows and top headlines box.

I didn’t watch it but yeah we get it; sweet old lady likes Crosberry, cute story, we love old people their adorable, sometimes a little creepy. I get it that its the lady who was fawning over him last year and it was a return visit okay cute.Yeah he brought the Stanley Cup because she was all like “We’re gonna win it this year!” last season: Sickeningly sweet.

I mean Anna once showed me the video from the first trip, why she even had watched it to begin with don’t ask me, and yeah she was one framed pictures lit from above next to a picture of Jesus in a hallway away from Mario Lemiuex thinking “Maybe we shouldn’t send Sid out” yeah cute whatever but THREE THINGS IS TWO TOO MANY!

And, can I make a motion to have our team send out our players to deliver the season tickets? I mean yeah I can’t afford them (Remember the good old days when Papa H’s work bought the couporate package so the employees got free tickets and put Papa H in charge of it because he was the only hockey fan so we got all the best tickets and free stuff like my Nicki signed mini jersey? Remember when they didn’t renew the tickets last year because Papa H was the only hockey fan?) it so but I’d be highly motivated to ruin my bank account if say Brooks Laich or Alex Semin or pretty much anyone else on the Caps were delivering my season tickets to me.

In a random but extremely annoying note I may or may not have total destroyed my Washburn, which is my acoustic guitar, good goody gumdrops thats all I need right now. Come back hockey please do! Return some source of happiness to my life.

Effing Players! and Tales From the Elevator

So you about to hear the most fascinating story involving people in an elevator that does not involve free falls or emergency child birth. Anna and I had been left to our own devices while my father had left the veterans informal practice early, bad idea pop-eroni bad idea, well after creeping around a while which I will talk about in a second, we decided to leave. We walked out and in front of us also exiting Kettler was a group of four prospects; Holtby, Eakin, Carlson, and another one that neither Anna and I can remember who it was, poor kid we were so dazzled by Hotlby and Eakin respectively we didn’t even bother to see who it was. And Carlson is so freaking big its pretty hard to ignore him. Well after Holtby didn’t bother to hold two different sets of door for us like polite people in polite society do we we’re standing in the elevator corridor just those four and us two and only one elevator came up so we all got in. At least that time they did make sure the elevator doors didn’t try to cut me in half because the elevators at Kettler open and close ridiculously fast. I think I may have managed to squeak out a ‘thank you’ because that is what polite people in polite society do. It was all of a twenty second ride since we had parked only one level down but the fact I didn’t attempt to kidnap Holtby in that time is quite the success in itself.

Now down to the rest of the day; We got there a half a hour early seeing as we made a mistake on taking the HOV lane which makes it impossible to get on the exit to Glebe from 95 so we took a bit longer than we would have but there wasn’t really anyone there so we froze in the same seats we enjoyed at development camp and goofed off until the Baby Caps came out.. Well they practiced drills for a while. They were kind of in groups wearing different color practice jerseys; my personal favorite being the Grey jerseys which was Eakin/Casavant/Kugy. The two goalies practicing today were Holtby and Varly. Neuvirth was there but he and Varly were alternating practices so he didn’t play. And apparently the two random kids in white jerseys with no names on the back were BRUCES BOYS which I found out way after the fact and was a bit annoyed with myself because I know what Ben looks like but I didn’t recognize him. I didn’t even know Andy existed.

So they took a break and Anna and I spent a ridiculously long time in line getting food and by the time we got back in there the practice scrimmage had already started. They scrimmaged then did pacers/suicides depending on what you call them. I thought Dubuc was going to throw up towards the last couple pacers and the Janesky or how ever you spell his name, boy from Richmond, was slower than the goalies and practically passing out. I enjoy watching others suffer those damn things. Well the players exited not through the lockers but Zamboni exit which was near our seats so we got a good look at them. My father had a ten minute argument with me on what is on top of Holtby’s helmet.
“Did he play for Stanford?”
“What? Why?”
“Well he has a cardinal on top of his mask.”
“Thats the Hershey Bear.”
“No thats a cardinal.”
“No its not its a BEAR!”
Anna pops in “Umm thats definatly the bear.”
“Yeah dad its the bear on top, the eagle on the one side, HERSHEY choclate dudes on the other.”
He gets up walks over to the railing and looks at Holtby that way then comes back. “Thats a cardinal.”
“I’ll believe you when you show me a cardinal with claws and a muzzle.”
“But it doesn’t look the bear on Varly’s mask.”
See what I live with?

After that the place pretty much emptied out and didn’t even really fill back up for the veterans practice a couple minutes later, so we watched them with out half of the bleachers pretty much to ourselves. Brooks Laich, Brendan, mind you,Morrison, Knuble, Steckel, Erskine, Mo, Gordon (If only he wasn’t married!), Clark, Bradley, Green, Sloan, Shultz,(and if I’m forgetting one of them I apologize) with Neuvirth playing goalie on one side and Stetch, of the duo Vogal and Stretch, on the other. Theydid drills with Mr. Steckel being a Senior Bossy Pants and running them. Then they did a half ice scrimmage so Anna and I had to move to the other side to watch properly and those seats were all squished because so had everyone else.

Okay so I was keen on getting a picture of Brooks Laich partically because my mom loves her some Cougar Bait. Well I swear that man made it much more difficult then it should have been therefore I kept muttering F-ing Brooks! under my breath every time he turned his head in the middle of my taking a picture so I know have many a good picture of the back of his head. And he seemed to have looked straight at our section of bleachers like twenty times to rub it in.

One particularly time that was funny was when they had all just came out and Mo comes out and looks straight at Anna and I and gets a mega confused look on his face like “Wait whaaat? People want pictures of ME?!” you poor self depreciating man. Though Anna said it wasn’t any where near as creepy as before Rookie Camp started and Varly staring at the bleachers the entire time he was walking around the opposite side of the rink. Maybe we Americans were so terrible looking he just couldn’t look away. Okay I’m putting my bitter pants away now.

Once the guys packed it up we went over to that hallway near the lockers and seeing as we didn’t have anything to get signed just took close up pictures of Brooks and Mo who came over while we where there. Then we walked out to see several of the prospects just then leaving; Varly and Kugy, Flemming, and of course Carlson, Holtby, and Eakin.

Got back home and went through my pictures/registered for SATs. Attention Baby Caps/Caps quick message; Remember me because if I fail completely I have no moral issues what so ever with marrying rich. Just keep it mind.

And now for pictures:

mestery gets denied by holby1

the kids getting schooled1

mo the first and kit n knuble1

mo the second1

neuvirth stole brooks stick and erskine was giving him a hard time1

for you gordon fans sigh1

for you cougar bait fans1

for you bradley fans1

for clark fans if you exist1