Ohhhh Brooks, You Shake Me All Night Long

If you don’t know what Puck Daddy’s “Puck Tracks” is, it’s a podcast that basically consists of hockey players talking about music. Episode 2 features Brooks Laich.

Apparently, Brooks likes (haha) when band’s “hum a rhythm at the start of the song, where they go ‘ohhh, ohhh, ohhh…’” And while I do enjoy Brooksy demonstrating the ‘hummed rhythm’, I do not commend him on his example, 30 Seconds to Mars. Honestly, if I wanted to listen to an old man (okay, Jared Leto’s only 38…but close enough) ‘hum a rhythm’, I’d pay more attention in band. I do not like 30 Seconds to Mars, and while I do believe I may have a song on my iPod, Brooksy does not earn himself some brownie points for that one.

What does earn Brooks some major points is his second example: AC/DC’s “You Shook Me All Night Long” – a classic. And while I could play on the innuendos, I will simply say that I applaud his choice and, of course, am grateful for Brooksy putting the picture in my mind of him playing drums in the basement pretending he’s in AC/DC.

It’s a short podcast, about five minutes, and is worth listening to, even if you Laich’s adorableness.

I Didn’t Know Brooksy Had a Memoir! And in Movie Form At That!

After taking the SAT today, your Chronicles girls decided it would be a good idea to wander around downtown Fredericksburg, and, as always, shenanigans ensued. We spent most of our time in antique stores, which is always proves fruitful. Today, Meghan hit gold when she found this:

It’s a figure of Daren Puppa from when he was goalie on the Tampa Bay Lightning. It’s a pretty snazzy figure, though Meghan is pretty bitter about being “swindled” into buying it since it was in a box labeled ’50 cents’, but instead, it cost her $2.10. Later on, while looking at the figure, I made a comment about him having a mullet. To my delight, he totally did!

In another antique store, Meghan found this VHS:

Trap on Cougar Mountain! Which is, obviously, Brooks’ memoir. The best part? It’s tagline: “The heartwarming story of a young boy, a cougar, and their fight for survival”. I’m pretty sure my life is complete. Also, the cougar is apparently a boy cougar, named Jason. But hey, Brooksy, I don’t judge.

Now, for some actual hockey related news, Alex Ovechkin is mentioned in the November issue of GQ (the cover makes me uncomfortable) on a list on the 50 Most Powerful People in DC. He comes in at 48. The Ovetjkin Blog has the actual write up of the article. Honestly, I do not recommend buying it, unless, for some reason, you normally buy GQ. A (horrible) picture of the article can be seen here:

Yah, not worth it. And now, back to the game =]

- Anna

Why My Dad Needs a GPS (And a Weather Map)

I’m not sure I’ve ever mentioned this before, but my dad is horrible with directions, not as bad as my sister (she got us lost in the ghettos around Hampton Roads twice in one day, and she LIVES down there), but still really, really bad. What makes it worst is that he refuses to listen to signs, directions, or ME because, y’know, he’s always right. For example, when Meghan and I went to Kettler to go ice skating for my birthday, I wanted to go to Chop’t afterwards, which is normally no more than a twenty minute drive, but it took him TWO HOURS because he didn’t want to listen to the directions I printed out.

Now, I’m sure you’re all wondering ‘Anna, what does this have to do with hockey?’ Well, I’m glad you asked! Since I’m also a devoted Hershey fan, going to a game would be nice, especially since tickets are a lot cheaper than Capitals tickets. The logical place to see the Bears play is, of course, in Hershey, but my dad refuses to drive up there. ‘Anna, it’s in another state; it’s too far away’. So, I looked up the next Hershey @ Admirals game that isn’t on a school night (29 Dec, might I add), and he may be willing to take us to that! Out of curiousity, I used Map Quest to determine exactly how far away my house was from Norfolk and how far from Hershey.

• My house to Norfolk: 2h33 with a total of 144,30 miles
• My house to Hershey: 3h17 with a total of 178.52 miles

It’s an extra 44 minutes, that’s all! And, while I know traffic can be tricky up there, I’ve had worse experiences going down in that direction (it took four hours to get from Newport News to my town once, when it should only take two). When I pointed this out to my dad, guess what his excuse was? ‘There’s snow up there, Anna! There’ll be snow on the drive up!’ Snow? SNOW? Really, dad? You lived in Rochester, New York for fourteen years, and you’re concerned with the snow up in Hershey? *facepalm*

In other news, Kaner and Burish have seemed to make themselves only look more ridiculous lately. First, Kaner announces on the radio (does anyone remember which station? or knows where I can find a soundbite?) that he and Burish saw Miley Cyrus in concert. I never thought I’d actually have something in common with those two boys (except being American and growing up in upstate New York). In my defense, I saw her when I was fifteen, not twenty-one and twenty-six…

Anyway, to add to their stupidity, they do this at the Hawks’ Halloween shindig:

*rolls eyes* Does anyone know what Sharpie is supposed to be?

Lately, it seems as though Kaner and Burish have been hanging out a lot lately. Does this mean Kaner dumped Tazer? And Burish is trying to get over the fact that Sharpie’s engaged? *devilish grin* I think soooooo =]

To stick to the theme of my family, we all know my mom is a creeper when it comes to talking hockey. First, she implied that Meghan and I molested Eakin, Carlson, and Holtby in an elevator, and then, she thought we were devising to personally buy Tazer or Kaner. Thankfully, her latest comment was golden. We were in the car after a trip to Sonic for ice cream and I was making fun of Crosby, like I always do. After comparing his looks to a beaver/duck hybrid and making fun of his ass and specially made pants, my mom told me:

• “Anna, you should be nice to him! He probably doesn’t have any friends!”

It was easily the best thing she has ever said to me.

Also, I finally got around to listening to the hour-long Hockey Diaries, which followed Brooksy and Karl Alzner around for the 08-09 season, and it somehow managed to make me love Brooksy even more than I already do. Impossible, I thought! But, after hearing all the adorable stories from his mother (he sure did cry a lot) and Brooksy bossing Greener around while raking leaves (they’re totally like an old married couple), it happened. Not that a mind. Nope, I don’t mind at all. To listen or download, go here!

On one last note, tonight was Brooksy’s 200th consecutive game with the Capitals XD

- Anna

They’re Soulmates, I Tell Ya

It’s been awhile since I’ve been able to post. My computer died on me and is currently still being fixed. The only access I have had to the internet is through my cell phone, and my enV Touch does not like WordPress. But I’ve bought a new computer, so all is right in the world.

Anyway, not much to post today, just a reassurance that I am, in fact, alive and kicking. To make this post worthwhile, I provide you with a video of the best part of last night’s game (which wasn’t hard to choose since the game itself was incredibly boring):

This clip alone has reawoken part of me that is convinced Brooksie and Greener are soulmates, a part that began with the original Cribs videos:

Then, the Ladies Man video:

 

As well as pictures, such as this:

Admit it, you’ve thought this, too.

- Anna

I Have Been to Heaven, and It Was Called CapsCon

The first annual CapsCon was yesterday, and both your Chronicles girls were in attendance. What could have been potentially dangerous (Meghan and I do not act responsibly around hockey players while we are unsupervised), turned out to me epically amazing. If you weren’t there, you should have been. It was worth the forty-something-dollars I (well, my parents) spent.

Now, what to say, what to say. Too many things happened to go into great amounts of detail, though, to be honest, a lot of our day was spent walking around the hotel instead of in the main ballroom where the convention was being held. There were A LOT of people there, and, even if they’re Capitals fans, I find people pretty annoying, especially in large quantities. And, I’m pretty sure we got more out of it than a lot of fans did.

 We attended two pannels: Covering the Caps and Kids Ask the Craziest Questions.

Covering the Caps was interesting, informative, and reinforced my idea that Joe B. and Locker are our Middle-Aged Man Twins. Their witty banter is all too familiar for them not to be. But, the person with the most amusing commentary on the pannel was definitely Lindsay Czarniak. Apparently, she has a stock of Brooks Laich photos from his mother, including one of him wearing mouse-ears while figure-skating. Yes, figure-skating. My favourite Washington Capital did not begin as a hockey player, but a figure-skater :] I am determined to see these pictures.

Kids Ask the Craziest Questions has pretty much made my life complete, as sad as that is. Brooksy, Stecks, and Brads were on the pannel, and they’re BFFFs as far as I could tell. The mediator, Chilli, worked for some radio station I cannot remember, and only added to the amazingness of the pannel. It began with her asking questions, including whether Brooksy had a girlfriend (“I’m not sure how I can dance around this”, “Remember that video of your house? And you were in the bedroom, saying it was for this and this, and that you didn’t have someone to share it with? Well, is there someone there now?, “There is no one in that room”). Some of the questions were pretty basic, but others were absolutely amazing:

• “When did you think about playing hockey professionally?” – a pretty mundane question, except Brooksy first went on to talk about how he wasn’t smart enough to go to university, and then Brads began with “Well, I’m from Canada, so…” which was a pretty consistent thing throughout the pannel, and Stecks bragged about going to university, which lasted throughout the session as well
• “Do you wear Iron Man underwear?” – laughter erupted amongst the older women while Brooksy sat on stage, looking rather flustered, “Well, we all wear Under Armor gear. I guess we’re calling it something else now…”
• “What’s your wife’s names?” – Brads: “My wife’s name is Sasha, and its kind of weird ’cause Ovie calls Alexander Semin Sasha, which, I guess, is Alexander in Russian or whatever”; Stecks: “My wife’s name is Didi”; Brooksy: “To be determined”
• “What nicknames do you have for each other? – Chilli: “Remember, there are children in the audience”; all three boys look as though they’re struggling to think of something; Brads: “I’m not sure there are any G-rated ones; Brooksy: “Boyd Gordon listens to a lot of hip-hop, so he call him ‘Snoop-Gord, or my favourite, ‘Gordicris”
• “What are your superstitions?” – There’s some laughter and Brooksy is whispering to Brads about something; Brads: “I don’t really have a superstition. It’s more like a routine”; Brooksy agrees with the routine, but eventually gives away Brads actual superstitution: apparently, neither Brads or Boyd Gordon can play without Brads tapping Gordon on the jock; Brooksy said it was “something I look forward to seeing every game” 0.0
• “What kind of pranks do you pull on each other?” – Apparently, there was a pranked pulled two or so year ago on Brooksy, which involved the entire team, and almost ended in a first fight between Brads and Brooksy
• “What are you afraid of?” – Brooksy: “Bees”; Chilli: “Are you allergic?”; Brooksy: “No, but I got stung twice while golfing. I was nine, and I was in the bush looking for my ball” *insert hysterical laughter and an ‘oh, my god’ face from Brooksy*
• Brads was a general sarcastic smart ass
• Brooksy’s a wet blanket, who doesn’t like chocolate, ice cream, or soda
• There was lots of laughter, double-entendres, and cat-calls

I now realize why they make up my favourite line.

The autograph session was pretty cool, too. Meghan and I were put in separate lines. I was surrounded by a bunch of giggling cougars, but ended up with Shaone Morrisonn and Chris Bourque, so no complaints here. I had them sign this painting of my Capitals logo my mom did for my birthday (as well as another one for Meghan’s).

But, hands down, the best part was all the players we ended up seeing. We didn’t bother any of them because, well, that just seems a little rude to me, especially since they all seemed to be going somewhere when we saw them. And by seeing, I do not mean from a distance or from a pannel, I mean walking past them, a foot or less apart. We ended up seeing:

• Ovie
• Brooksy
• Brads
• Nicky
• Sasha
• Varly
• Theodore
• Fehr
• Schultz
• Flash
• Juice
• Giroux
• Alzner
• Neuvirth
• Laing
• Morrison

There was probably more, I just cannot remember. Also, we saw Gabby, Joe B, Mike Vogel like a kajillion times, a lot of alumni, Stretch, and many more.

Oh, and not to forget the highlight of my day: Brooks Laich walked directly into me. It wasn’t a nudge, it wasn’t a bump, it wasn’t a brush; Brooksy walked straight, head-on into me. Meghan and I were by the main stage, listening to one of the pannels, and suddenly, WHAM! Well, not wham, cuz it didn’t hurt, but yah. I am easily pleased. He quickly apologized and disappeared down the “magic hallway” was Meghan and I began calling it. It’s good to know Brooksy has manners unlike some hockey players we know *coughbradenholtbycough*.

Anyway, best day ever. I cannot wait ’til next year. Expect a post from Meghan later on.

- Anna

And Now Bring Forth the Sacrifice

Oh, wise and loving Hockey gods; we the humble fans grovel at your benevolent feet and ask once again as the season comes for you to heed our prayers;

Please grace the Capitals with your good favor and smile upon our players. Make them solid of bone and many of teeth. Put a pep in their step and a good brain in their heads.

And, if you have a little extra favor and time let the Blackhawks have these things also. But, if you don’t give it all to the Capitals please.

In regards to individuals;
Keep Laich safe from all his creepers; we need him unstalked.

Please let Semin keep on his feet; make his ankles strong and his back straight. Also let him keep his anger managed; maybe get him one of those little foam angry squeeze things with the poppy eyes?

Bless Backstrom with some cookies to eat as long as he keeps on being awesome; the boy’s getting too thin if you ask me.

Allow Green to keep his shoulders solid and allow him to come to terms with the fact he is a white boy from Canada.

Give Flash one of those pamplets about long plane rides and those silly stretches your supposed to do but make you look like a wierdo they have in the seat pockets on airplanes because Flash obviously didn’t read it.

Let Toews of the Blackhawks to keep on being adorable, teach him that a boy with a long face should not spike his hair, and make him a little less gullible.

Allow Burish and Sharp also of the Blackhawks the gift of Toews being a little less gullible I’m sure they’d enjoy a little extra challenge. Also protect other people from Sharp’s stick we need some hockey players with the ability to reproduce.

Let Patrick Kane keep his head on straight and his toe’s in line. Allow him to do something good so we can all love him guilt free again.

Keep the Blackshawks’ front office out of trouble they are the ones causing me chest pain.

Keep Matt Stajan’s face, of the Maple Leafs, away from both the ice and spherical hurtling objects.

Keep the NHL and the NHLPA from self imploding ALL hockey fans would appreciate it.

This is what we ask of you, the Hockey gods, for this season it is not the last or the least but I think it is not much to ask.

In the name of the forward, the defensemen, and the goalie: amen.

Oh Captain, My Captain

The new season looms in the distance, a mere thirty-one days away, and camp is even sooner. So, a question we must all ask ourselves is, will their be a change in captaincy? As reminded by Japer’s Rink, Clark was named captain of the Capitals one day before players had to report for camp, so a sudden change is possible. With his wrist surgery in late January, Clark was seemingly absent for the remainder of the season until the playoffs, where he was less-than spectacular. And this wasn’t the first time Clark’s season was interrupted by an injury. Therefore, a question we must all ask ourselves is, should Clark still be captain?

My answer is no. The captain should be someone who has been well enough to play in the majority of the games in the season, because a captain is an important part of the team, and having one who is perpetually injured is not good for the team. But a captain cannot be anyone, either.

My case and point: Ovechkin should never, ever be granted a ‘C’ on his jersey. ‘A’? Sure, but ‘C’? Never is a million, billion years. Ovechkin’s skills are insurmountable, but I do not believe in his leadership abilities. He needs to focus on the game, and rally the team together through his play, not as a captain.

This raises another question: Anna, who do you think should be captain? And my answer is: isn’t it obvious? Brooksy, of course.

Honestly, try to come up with a better captain for the Washington Capitals than Brooks Laich. He’s a good player, who shows up to games, works hard, plays well, and genuinely loves the club. When the Washington Post published an article about Brooksy in March, he had played a consecutive 175 games, a record for the team, and even Boudreau raised the possibility of his future captaincy saying that “Those attributes make Laich a candidate to be a captain some day.”

But I think the most important reason for Brooksy to be made captain is because, as mentioned above, he really cares about the club. We all care about our Capitals, so why shouldn’t our captain be the same way?

“If I asked you about your family, you would talk about them forever because it’s something you love,” Laich said. “That’s the way I feel about this team. This team is my life, and I love playing here and I’m passionate about playing hockey. So it’s easy for me to talk about it.”

Now that I’ve said my piece, feel free to make your opinion heard. It is genuinely wanted. If there is a change in captaincy, who do you think should be appointed?

- Anna

The Fine Line Between Epic and Fail

Epic:
Brooks Laich Day in Wawota

Epic Fail:
“While the ultimate success of such efforts and changes will not be known until the Olympic tournament is played in February, the early returns seem good. There was a somewhat lighter atmosphere on the third day of camp — perhaps not surprisingly since the players spent the morning playing golf, fly fishing or simply relaxing.

Crosby was among the handful of guys who took to the river and had the group in stitches because of a casting mishap.

“Sometimes, we can laugh at each other,” said defenseman Francois Beauchemin. “Sid almost hooked himself in the back of the head. That was fun to see.”

Seriously? Come on Cindy. Thank you Pittsburgh Post-Gazette

Epic:

You see I’m am really cynical and I really need concrete proof and evidence before I believe just about anything especially pertaining to celebrities but this website, this amazingly awkward website, seemed to be BY Mike Green himself. Well not the actual website but you know its about him and has his blog on it. So I need someone who I can not concretely argue with like a actual member of the Capitals administration or Mike Green himself to acknowledge this site in some way before I can take it seriously and even then I will have a difficult time because something about it just gives me the chuckles. The style, the fact its says ‘peace’ at the end of the post, it reminds me of the white kids at school trying to be gangsta or punk who everyone laughs at behind their backs.

Epic Fail

Yay grammar fail on the first post sir (or madam).Though I have to say the typos in his post make it all the more believable its him. Seriously half way though the short first/only post he, or who ever it is, decides apostrophes aren’t real or something.

Epic:

Comedy Central for showing Comedy Central Presents: Gerry Dee which was hilarious and I love the story about how someone told his dad if he was going to let his kids play hockey they needed to know who to fight so his dad enrolled him in karate classes because as we all know karate is an extremely useful fight technique on the ice.

Lots o’ Crap News

The worst part of August is the part where you get lot of little bitty stories but none of them are very important I’m a bit behind on a few of these because of End of Summer Video Palooza so forgive my lateness and this post will be awfully long.

Ovie riding in a double story Hummer limo? Insert Matt Bradley being Captain Planet joke please. So much useless Ovie news so little time. Just go here Alexovetjkin.blogspot.com I’m too lazy to write up my opinion because while I like Mr. Ambassador and he’s a total ham I’m just so sick of hearing about him and his awkward answers; “Where is Ovcehkin mania better US or Russia?” “At my dacha.” Good lord… PS brownie points to me for knowing what a dacha was with out having to look it up. PS its not dirty, surprisingly Meghan does know foreign words that aren’t dirty, its a summer cottage.

Thank the good hockey gods Nicki is apparently training from the rough translation of a interview of some Swedish website. He is apparently training twice a day. Now slow down their Nicksters I love the fact your a fudgeball don’t not get all healthy on us, Swedish Meatball. Glad to see he learned his lesson after last season though.

The Cap’s at School program was announced where teachers can download lesson plans; Chris Clark will be… wait who? Anyway also Matt Bradley will be using his Captain Planet powers to teach kids artsy environmental stuff AKA hippie crap and Mike Green gets to teach the kids how to stay healthy.

Someone, I had never heard of this man he apparently is the host of some show I’ve never seen, said Redwings and Capitals blogger’s have no idea what they are talking about and it was one of his predictions for the up coming season. I predict you sir will still be a douche bag.

So do you all remember ever so long ago back during the Award show time that they had a charity poker tournament. Okay good you do. What the heck happened with that? When will it be on TV?

Candian Olympic camp opened Monday. I have not become entirely sure who I’m rooting for yet. I’m thinking I’ll end up rooting for Russia. Especially since 90% chance its Canada/Russia for gold anyway. I’ve never actually really been big on the Olympics to begin with. Speaking of which I saw this HILARIUS secret transcript of the USA hockey camp on Down Goes Brown: http://www.downgoesbrown.com/2009/08/usa-olympics-hockey-camp.html Go for the Bronze!

I’m sick of Pat Kane, your sick of Pat Kane, we are all freaking sick of Pat Kane but while perusing You Tube the other day I stumbled upon this little reenactment of what happened. Word of Warning; there is some strong language so NSFW and I have yet to figure out why they are all shirtless…

I just found out that Brooks Laich has a younger brother named Jordan. Okay Meghan why do I care? I don’t know reader I don’t know. He doesn’t play profesh hockey or anything and I stumbled upon this but I don’t remember how. It doesn’t seem very news worthy I was just extremely surprised I hadn’t heard this before seeing as MAMT Locker is just a plethora of random information about our boys so usually I know whether some of the boys have siblings or not or something that happened in the third grade or whose dad did what because he is always spouting forth random crap and I’m disappointed that he hadn’t spouted forth that.

So no game for Captials VS. Candians at the Olympic stadium. Not for the same stupid reason as the winter classic. This one makes logical sense. See the CFL (really?) team that plays in the stadium is doing very well and looks as if they will be going far into the off season and therefore there would be no time to properly install ice for a game. Alright I will let this go seeing as it’s not stupid and is actually down right logical even if it is the CFL.

End of Summer Video Palooza

Well it may not be the end of summer for you reader but for us here at the Chronicles Monday means no more summer for us. So to celebrate the only good thing about school which is that it means we are just that much closer to fall and hockey season I present you with End of Summer Video Palooza. And when I say palooza I’m very serious this is a LOT of videos! And in case your thinking ‘Hey stupid if its Monday then Sundays your last day of summer not today.’ I would agree but it would be the last day if I had done my assignments before hand instead of waiting for Sunday to cram. So here we go:

I know you all have probably seen this video but its one of my absolute favorites. Bruce’s kid is the cutest thing ever. He is also the luckiest kid ever.

Does anyone find the arguement between Green and Stecks about getting dumped slightly disturbing? But, completely adorable. Cougar Bait gets all bashful when Brady asks him about being well cougar bait is too funny.

Two kids reenacting famous fights including the most amazing slap fight ever AKA one of the top ten moments in Meghan’s life AKA Marc Staal v Alex Semin

Cabbie learn Russian from Semyon. Word of Warning: If you do NOT want to see Ovechkin scantly clad for any reason I don’t recommend this video.

Kris Versteeg doesn’t know a lot of words;

Thank you, thank you, thank you sweet jesus you said ‘under age’ when Miley Cyrus’s picture came up.

I found this video one time looking for a Cabbie as in the reporter video but I got a Nike commerical about a Goalie cab driver.

My favorite line is “Its hot in here!” “Maybe you should take off the mask.” “What mask?”

Gerry Dee ‘discredits’ the myth that hockey players aren’t very smart:

Okay I didn’t know one or two of those but good lord.

IF YOU WATCH ANY of these videos watch this one.

If you watch this video then do not barf and become OUTRAGED you should have.

Sharp and Burrish are hilarous. Word of Warning: If you do NOT want to see Sharp and Burish shirtless I don’t reccomend this video.

Maybe this is why Kane is so angry! Sharp and Burish are always picking on him and Toews!

An old commerical from when Mr. Fedorov was still on the Wings.

These kids are seriously hardcore!… too bad their on the same team!