What’s the Fuss About Brooks Laich?

For all five of you who are not aware, on July 1st, Brooks Laich is an unrestricted free agent, meaning his contract is up with the Capitals and in Meghan’s words, “He’s just floatin’ around”. Basically, Brooksy can sign with any team that offers him a contract and, rumor has it, there are several GM’s who are interested. The internet has been all a-twitter with people spazzing out about the possibility of Brooks Laich not returning as a Capital for the 2011-2012 season. Now, the real question is: is all this fuss necessary?

Don’t get me wrong, we here at The Hockey Chronicles love Brooks Laich just as much as the next fan. He’s a great, solid guy. What’s not to love about him? But after the announcement of the Capitals’ trade of their first round draft pick for Chicago’s Troy Brouwer, some realization hit. Why do I love Brooks Laich so much?

Meghan and I sat down and discussed things, like stats and styles of play. Honestly, we love Brooks for the heart and soul kind of guy he is; Brooks is committed to the team and brings a lot of passion and heart to the game. Statistically, though, he just isn’t that outstanding. In 475 NHL games, Brooks has totaled 100 goals, 137 assists, and 237 points. Nothing about that says ‘invaluable player’.

Troy Brouwer is a player who is very much along the same lines as Brooks Laich. He is a solid third-liner and brings a certain “umph” to the game. In 238 NHL games, Brouwer has totaled 49 goals, 54 assists, and 103 points. One thing Brouwer has that Brooks Laich doesn’t is grit. On a talented team like the Capitals, we’re lacking grit. Brouwer brings this in a form of aggressiveness that doesn’t penalize the team, either. At the end of the disappointing season, many fans realized we were lacking grit. So now, after GMGM got us something we’ve all been asking for, why are we freaking out?

If you guys don’t realize it, we haven’t won a Cup with Brooks Laich here, so would his departure drastically change anything? As fans, having a team that will win the Stanley Cup should be our biggest goal, not holding on to our favorite players. After all, we are Washington Capitals fans, not so-and-so fans. The team comes first and if we’re real fans, we should be willing to suffer through anything that happens to our lineup in order for our team to finally bring a Cup back to Washington.

Now, why am I bringing up all this mess? Honestly, I’m just saying that by acquiring Brouwer, I believe GMGM may be preparing for the possibility of Brooks Laich not returning. Personally, I think the likelihood of Brooks Laich turning down a contract with the Caps is unlikely, willing that a contract is offered, but only to a degree.

Brooks Laich is committed to the Washington Capitals, but we cannot forget that this is a career. The Capitals may simply not be able to give Laich the bump in pay that he wants or deserves. Brouwer received a little over a million while Brooks Laich’s last contract gave him a little over two million a year. It is through Brouwer that we can still have a solid player, but for cheaper.

I’m not trying to discredit Brooks Laich with this post; I’m just looking at the facts and reasoning with the decisions that have been and may be made. On my part, this has been a sort of a preparation for the possibility that we may not see Laich on the roster next season, but honestly, who knows? This is only the beginning of the crazy, hockey summer and with all the left-wing, out-of-nowhere trades and deals that have been happening, we honestly cannot predict much of anything.

When it all comes down to it, we just have to have faith in GMGM.

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Spotlight on a Hometown: Wawota, SK

So kids, today we are going to talk about the home land of Brooks Laich, everyones favorite Saskatchewan native- wait Boyd Gordon is from Saskatchewan too isn’t he? Everyone’s favorite Saskatchewan native who’s last name starts with “L”.

Why I recently learned a lot about Wawota is a long and boring tale that involved a prank that may have involved a made up person from Canada. And, know I will use this sudden depth of knowledge to bring you a lovely new type of post “Spotlight on a Hometown” in which we learn all about a Capitals player’s hometown or homeland. And, since I already know so much about it our first one will be all about Wawota, Saskatchewan.

That little “A” there is Wawota. (Did you know there was a Rugby, North Dakota? Neither did I but there it is.)

According to the Wawota official website http://www.wawota.com:

“Wawota is a picturesque community of 520 friendly people located on Highway #48, 16 miles northeast of Moose Mountain Provincial Park. It’s name is derived from an Indian word meaning “deep snow”.

The Town is situated on the edge of the Little Pipestone Valley, which is a natural recreation area, currently utilized for nature trails and hiking in the summer. In winter it is popular for tobogganing, cross-country skiing and snowmobiling. This area is also a natural amphitheater which has been used for concerts, as well as the R.C.M.P. Musical Ride.”

520 people? Holy cow! That is smaller than my high school. By a lot. And, whoa. What is the Royal Canadian Mounted Police Musical Ride? That catches my eye. I googled it and it doesn’t sound nearly as fun as my mental picture but that is okay.

Wawota according to Wikipedia was established in 1905 and is apparently famous for “…its unusual collection of fire hydrants, painted to resemble various people and cartoon characters.” Wow! I’ll give them that. My grandma’s small town doesn’t even have fire hydrants. But that’s Ohio. Nobody cares if it burns down.

And interestingly “Wawota is also noteworthy as the ‘twin capital’, due to the large number of twin births recorded in the community, particularly throughout the late 1970s and early 1980s.” Too bad Brooks Laich didn’t have a twin. Can you even imagine.

There is a real estate page on the Wawota website  with a wonderful list of reasons to move to Wawota (and, an advert for a house that is for sale that is actually pretty sweet if your looking for a house and want to move to Canada check it out) here are my favorite reasons to the Wawota website gives you on why Wawota is a great place to live:

Sorry Wawota but having grown up in the big city if my water isn’t the same color as brewed coffee I don’t want it.

Once again, if my air ain’t the color of brewed coffee, I don’t want to breath it.

I have always wanted to develop a gambling habit.

And, considering there are 520 people there I imagine when Jimmy Bob steals an apple from the grocer we figure it out pretty fast.

So when I’m rolling like a gangsta in my 1992 Ford Tempo it will be one smooth ride.

Considering Canada has free health care and a lower drinking age  I’m not sure why you’d want to come the US a lot.

Brooks Laich gets his entire own page on the Wawota Website.

So there we are anything you might ever need to know about Wawota, Saskatchewan. Dazzle all your friends at your next dinner party with your intimate knowledge of Canadian small town life.





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Weird and Wacky Search Terms – The Return!

The Lightning just got eliminated… LET’S CELEBRATE BY BRINGING THIS POST BACK.

funny hockey jersey

There are plenty of funny jerseys out there, but this beauty was featured in Thursday’s Puck Headlines. WHERE CAN I GET ME ONE OF THESE?

awful beard

Like this?

And this?

How about this?

A beard can make or break a face… Sadly, these fellas haven’t quite mastered the power of the beard. (or not so sadly since I can make fun of them time and time again)

backstreet boys nick 2010

I really need to get a job. Who wants to hire an unexperienced almost-19-year-old?

perfect male eyebrows

Those eyebrows are… unnatural

patrick kane in bed

Oh? This wasn’t what you were looking for? Darn.

laich wawota

I’m pretty sure no one “laichs” Wawota (see what I did there?) Just kidding. But according to Meghan (who should never be trusted with Google Earth), “IT’S ALL FIELDS, ANNA. THERE’S FIELDS, A BAR, AND BROOKS LAICH’S SIGN”.

beard facial hair and sex

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Taking Over Tumblr, One Tumble at a Time

Okay, not really (coughatleastnotyetcough). And I know, you guys are probably wondering “YOU PROMISED TO COME BACK THIS SUMMER, WHERE ARE YOU GUYS?!” Well, I didn’t expect the Caps to just disappear from the playoffs and there’s also been some unexpected…ahem…complications in both your blogger’s lives (cuz we have lives…at times, too). But anyways, this isn’t really a post about much of anything except our…okay, more like my, recent endeavor.

I have started a tumblr called “Why I Love the Caps“, which is exactly what it sounds like! Basically, Meghan and I made a silly list of reasons why we like the Caps and I’ve been putting them through a five-second Photoshop treatment. So, I don’t know if any of you guys used tumblr, but if you do, feel free to give it a follow! I can promise more gems like this:

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We Forgot Our Birthday Again…

We turned two years old on the 19th and since Meghan and I have both been busy doing absolutely nothing, we kind of completely forgot! Of course, this place has been pretty dead anyways… So yeah. Two years old. Thank you for everyone who has read our silly ramblings in the past two years. Perhaps we’ll finally get our butts in gear and the next year will be much more productive than this one!

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The Return to the Blog

Hello dear readers.

Well this is rather awkward isn’t it? Anna said “Let’s start blogging now that we’re both down with college for the summer!” and I was very much for that idea responding with a “Fuck yes let us do that!” however the Caps were like “Just kidding guyz we’re going to get out of the playoffs.” leaving myself with nothing to talk about.

So yes, what to talk about? Um, how about this weather? Pretty cool for May, isn’t? And, hey! How about those other sports… you know? Those other sports… ?

Oh man you know what I’m just going to leave this here:

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In Which A Capitals Player Nearly Signed Meghan’s Ass

Okay, I’ll be honest, the title makes the story sound much more interesting than it actually is. The idea itself is kind of wacked yet the players did not react as much as I had hoped. Since Meghan was unable to go to Kettler with me yesterday, she had to scheme up something for me to do. What we decided on was to have a player sign a picture of Meghan. Yes, a picture of Meghan. I believe this idea is odd within itself. How often does a hockey player sign a picture of a random girl? Of course, random is not enough for us, we needed to get awkward.

I’m going to get all emotional and fuzzy and say that going back to Kettler after almost a year was kind of like coming home. I got there a little early and was able to see most of the drills done by the Bears they brought up (as well as a couple of other Caps players as well) before I went into the main rink to watch practice. As reflected by the Washington Post, the Caps are hoping they will be “rested, not rusty” when they come into the second round of the playoffs (starting tomorrow, by the way!) and honestly, I think yesterday’s practice reflected this. The boys looked relaxed and calm, playfully rough housing and goofing around at practice. Honestly, I think that is the key for success in this off-season. The team has the skill and the talent, but when trouble hits, they just freak out and fail fail fail. So honestly, I believe nothing rings more true than this:

I also did something I have never done before: I deliberately sought out players for their autographs. Normally, Meghan and I don’t do this; we just go to Kettler to watch practices and then leave. But since I had a mission, I had to. I waited on the side for autographs, with my We Want the Cup in Washington shirt and Meghan’s picture. I waited for the perfect player to sign the picture when Boyd Gordon came over!

Boyd was signing a bunch of pucks and shirts and such came to my picture, grabs my sharpie and the picture, and stops. He makes a confused face, looks up at me, back at the picture, back at me, and then shrugs and says “Alright.” I laughed and smiled at him, “Yup.” In the parking lot (which is really, really, really creepy – seriously people!), I got Holtby to sign it (since we all know how much Meghan loves him), but he didn’t react! It was rather disappointing.

I’m probably going on Monday, too, so maybe others will react more fantastically. This picture is going to get passed around until we get everyone, I swear. Summer is just beginning, readers. THC is back and Meghan and I are more readier than ever to be creeps.

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Filed under Anna's Blog, Capitals Practice, Stupid Moments in Epic Awesome-ness

You Like Us, You Really Like Us!

Or at least you miss us. So, I’m sitting in a ridiculous class right now and I decided to check the blog, which I still do sporadically, just out of curiosity and surprisingly, we still have a fair amount of traffic coming through the site, especially for having been inactive since this season started. I want to thank everyone who still looks at this blog, whether they stumble upon through their (weird and wacky) search terms or because they have been checking it, anxiously awaiting our return.

Either way, thank you so much for taking the time to look at The Hockey Chronicles. It’s encouraging to know that some people out there believe that two high school girls ramblings about their favorite hockey team is worthwhile, even if for a moment.

Anyways, Meghan and I are both heading home for the summer in a few weeks and, while I cannot promise anything (especially because Meghan doesn’t know I’m posting this), we may kick-start this thing back up. At least for the summer. Because honestly, we’re both part of campus organizations that take up a lot of our time and blogging about hockey (when we both barely have time to watch hockey) is not on the top of our list of things to do… BUT we are going to be stuck at home working for the summer, so we will have some spare time on our hands… Of course, this is only tentative. Who knows what’ll happen in a couple weeks.

Thanks for spending at least a second of your lifespan reading this! GO CAPS!

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We’re Not Quite Hanging Up the Skates (Or I Guess Keyboards)

You might have noticed we haven’t updated the blog in a while. And after a bit of thinking about it your Chronicles bloggers would like to announce as of right now the blog is being put on hiatus.

This isn’t for any reason besides the fact we seriously just don’t have the time for it at this point. One day perhaps we will breath life back into the ol’ blog here; maybe even as soon within in the next year. But as of right now and the general vicinity of right now we won’t be posting.

We’ve had a better run then we ever imagined! This blog got bigger than we ever expected. We reached our goals for this blog and have a lot of great readers and you guys have been great to silly old us. Our fellow bloggers were also never anything but awesome to us which we never expected. Big thank you to the likes of Punch in the Face, Hockey is my Boyfriend (who were basically here from the very beginning,) Japers Rink and Russian Machine. So we don’t really want to completely give up the blog yet.

This isn’t so much “good bye” as a “see you later”.

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John Carlson: Fun Loving Kid or Death Machine?

Reader, today we discuss a serious subject. Now to discuss this serious subject I need to be able to assume one thing; that you are not Amish and therefore have access to technology and therefore I can assume at one point in your life you saw “I, Robot”, “Wall*E”, an episode of the “Twilight Zone” or “The Jetsons”.

Readers, feast your eyes upon this picture (borrowed from Russian Machine Never Breaks):

Ignore Ovie, clearly providing a public service and carefully checking the pulse of that club goer because as we know Ovie is always safety first,  and the rest of the club going sweaty masses and notice John Carlson. Look at his collar, his perfectly styled hair, his over all preppy appearance.

Kids, I believe John Carlson may be a robot sent by a (debatably evil or good) Canadian scientist where all they knew about American culture is what they saw from 1950s movies and “Mad Men” reruns. He looks like someone took a picture of an 1952 all-american varsity quarter-back and photoshopped it in to a club picture. Now for the evidence:

Exhibit A:

John Carlson appears to have three facial expressions, they are also almost always exactly the same when employed:



Mouth open/Eyebrow raise (versatile for many emotions)

Always accompanied by glassy, half closed eyes. Which leads us to…

Exhibit B:

He doesn’t even have to look at the net to score goals!

Why? Because he’s a robot! He’s got sensors, he doesn’t need your silly human eyeballs!

Exhibit C:

He’s from New Jersey. No human being actually comes from New Jersey.

Clearly, mutants from one of Jersey’s many chemical plants.

And, he wasn’t even born there; he voluntarily chooses to come from there. No human being in their right mind would do that.

Now why would a Canadian scientist send America a hockey playing robot? Well the scientist couldn’t very well test a robot out on one of their own teams now could they? What if it went horribly wrong? Well, they clearly never watched “The Twilight Zone” because that is exactly what happened for them. Guess they should have kept him after all.

Keep on, keepin’ on, John Carlson robot hockey player, as long as you don’t go ballistic or over heat and explode we are a-okay with each other.

Lastly: New Jersey readers, please do not hate me.



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