The Glamour Shot: A Hockey Menace

I’ve been thinking about goalies a lot lately because we’ve got an epidemic, nay a pandemic, a postive gaggle of goalies:

Brent Johnson: Please Stay!

Brent Johnson: the capitals veteren whose worked his way from the bottom of our orginization to the top. He used to be a classic rookie, bouncy and well let’s just say it we all used to groan when we heard that johnny was in goal. But now he’s a veteren, seasoned and played well until he hurt himself. Even then he still tried to play. He SHOULD be number one.

Problem: He’s a free agent and with the current situation it may be best for HIM not us to leave. I want him to stay badly.

Jose Theodore: I wish we could get rid of you like a bad case of atheletes foot

Jose Theodore: Hiss! The devil. Okay actually Jose has shown once he settles down and get his head out of his ass he actually is pretty good. I could grow to like him if he does it more often then once in a blue moon. He also supplies enlessly hilarous antics. And seeing as I follow the fake Jose on twitter I feel the need to mention: He does indeed have one career goal.

Problem: Well either way we’re stuck which is an issue but also there’s that constantly needing his ego fluffed like a crappy motel pillow. It is NOT okay and you need to put on the big boy pants, spit out your pacey, and play with out someone giving you a big hug and a pep talk between every shift.

Semyon Varlamov: Stay with us FOREVER!

Semyon Varlamov: The Russian Wonder, The Beast from the East. What is there to say that hasn’t already been said? We love him, We adore him, We have issue:

Problem: Now that he’s debuted teams aren’t going to be suprised by him. We saw that in the finals when the Pen’s began to figure out he has a weak glove hand. He also was out most of the AHL year with an injury. Then there is the fact he seemed very fatigued by the end of finals. But if Jose was out of the picture he would make an excellent second fiddle to Johnny. And, if Johnny leaves then he can play second fiddle to Jose. Which basically means he’ll be picking up Jose sloppy ass goal tending when we pull him.

Michal Neuvirth: The other beast from the east?

Michal Neuvirth: Calder Cup Champion, Calder Cup Finals MVP and in general awesome. Seeing as I don’t live in Hershey or Pa it’s hard to follow the actuall game to game antics of our beloved Bears but he’s from what I can gather a postive beast.

Problem: None I can really gather besides the fact that I get the impression the young man is chomping at the bit to get to the NHL after playing first in the ECHL and then the AHL. And, with the current situation and the fact I get the impression he’s not like Varly and particuarily attached to the Caps he could bolt when the contract is up if not given playing time. Which would suck though may not throw us into complete chaos because apparently we have even more talented goal tenders even under him.

So let’s run it down in a perfect world: If Johnny stays he should be made first and Jose backup. If Johnny leaves Jose goes to first and Varly comes up to backup systematically rotating out with Neuvirth.


Dear Jose,
After some deliberation, fact checking, and weighing and judging, whether Brash stays or not you have offically been given the mantle of the nickname “the Old Man” seeing as “He Who Will Not Be Named” has left us. Enjoy.


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Filed under Meghan's Blog, Washington Capitals

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