HEY! Russia You Already Had Your Turn!

That’s right Russia you already had your turn at world domination! Ask my mother and my third grade teacher who asked my what I wanted to be when I grow up; I already called nexties. So none of this KHL expansion talk, I’m looking at you Putin. None of this pan European hockey league nonsense. Don’t you try to take my Swedes next. Then we are defiantly going to have a problem.

Do you realize what that would do? The epic-ness of Europe/Eurasia is already a bit much individually. If you combined your super-awesomeness together in to one rolled up hockey league the world may just explode. Canadians would cry! Americans would continue to be indifferent! The NHL would be so unable to figure out what to do Bettman’s head might explode, and after we thanked you for that, we would continue to be unable to figure out what to do.

And, don’t even try to say that Russia wouldn’t want control over the league. Who doesn’t want control over a hockey league? I know I fully plan on being the best NHL commissioner ever in about ten years.

What silly nonsense you speak Russia; the only way I could condone such an idea is if you took Nylander/Jose off our hands and that my favorite European players such as Nicki, Semin, Lundy, etc, were tied up in such long term contracts they couldn’t possibly leave me until they were so old and slow and arthritic that I wouldn’t care if they left. The idea of any of those guys pulling a, deep breath here, Fedorov (you may clap), is upsetting beyond comprehension..

So dearest Russia, while I love you and if Obama ever needs an ambassador he can give me a call, I don’t want to hear anymore of this uber-KHL nonsense.

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