I am aware that Johnny wasn’t coming back, I was aware that I myself said he should leave but what I was NOT aware of is that he was going to the Penguins. Soooooo that’s how it’s going to be Bitter Mc Bitter-goalie-pants.
I was sitting there spending “quality” time with my parent meaning I sit there and check my internet accounts and eat while my mom watches the afternoon block of Despreate Housewives when I see the Twitter post. I gasped. I seriously, no exaggeration, gasped and covered my mouth in surprise and dismay. It didn’t even register through my mother’s stupor of afternoon dramatics.
I thought he’d go to some nice team, a nice family. Well Mr. Johnson have fun sipping cosmos or whatever with Flower Power and Crosballs in Lemieux’s mansion. I will choke my friends is she says; “Now your guys are leaving you for my team cause,” Sing song here, “We’re be-e-e-e-ter.”
So Mr. Johnson, good bye, so long, fair well, I will be booing you as you warm your rump on the bench behind Flower Power, do you enjoy being a bench warmer? The guys are gonna miss you! Will anyone on the Pen’s share moments like this with you?
(Restrain your Pen’s are gay jokes if you can)
I look forward to facing you, well not so much facing you so much as Fleury while you are watch on the bench, this upcoming season. Best wishes. I know for one my mother, who liked you only second to Brooks Laich of which you should take as high compliment, will miss you.
I will not.
Ps. It’s not like you broke my heart, a certain somebody whose name rhymes with medorov had already done that, you just kinda just rubbed the shattered pieces into the dusty floor of epic failure that is the Capital’s fan life lately.
Ps agian: I had no idea Brian was at a couple of the Development camps. I want to meet him. He’s such a banker. I want to give him a hug and ask him to open my free checking account.