If around 2:30 pm today you heard a screaming noise where ever you are I apologize that was just me yelling in rage because of course Cap’s training camp starts the 13th; the same weekend I have a can NOT miss, because trust me I would, family engagement that weekend and there is no conceivable way I can get from up north and back in time. And trust me I thought of every possible way and the only way is if I have a time machine. To have a angst teenage moment; Death, Despair, Plague, the Dry Hockey Less Winds Whooshing Over the Desert That Is My Soul. There its out of my system.
I just knew this was going to happen. I know I can go to another practice but I had my heart set on going to the first but my selfish jerk of a cousin decided he had, after three years of indecision on the date, to get married in September. Who the hell get married in September any freaking way? And I can’t get to Rookie Camp because its on weekdays when I am at school
Dear Hockey Gods/Capitals/My cousin,
What did I do to deserve this?!
Thank goodness for the players who do wonderful adorable things to make me smile even in the blackest of moods like how Goofy Goose-Hidden Tiger is staying in Nicki’s apartment seeing as he came to America early to get a jump start on stuff like credit cards etc. Or that Brooks Laich is apparently going to be in Washingtonian magazine, the September (curse that month) issue, which I am seeing if any of my local stores carry now. Or Ovie will try his hand at cooking at some fancy Russian restaurant in New York; may I remind any one of a particular interview a few years back;
“Do you cook?”
“I cook little tried to cook fillet Mignon.”
“Was it good?”
“Umm burnt like woosh.” *Makes hand motion like something blowing up*
“It caught on fire?!”
I paraphrased that from memory because I couldn’t find the video but it was a Comcast interview.
Goose apparently removed the video of him off You Tube which sucks because I could have really used seeing a young Swedish man running around in red spandex to Eye of the Tiger to cheer me up and Anna hadn’t even seen it. GOOSE! Anna HAS to see it! Put it back up for her Goose; for Anna Goose!
That is it I just needed to rant because if I so much as thought the idea of skipping the wedding in the vicinity of anyone in my family they would choke me; I would be dead and then what?