Of Harassment and Sexual Deviancy (And a Few Other Tidbits)

When I came home yesterday from rookie camp, the first thing out of my mom’s mouth was not “Hi, Anna”, or “Did you have fun?”, it was “How many hockey players did you harass?” Harass, mother? Sure, I get a little overzealous when it comes to anything hockey-related, but would I go as far as to harass my favourite players of my favourite club? Of course not. It was my mom’s attempt at wit, I guess, but it gets worse…

Later that night, I was sitting down with her, and decided to tell her of the elevator incident (as Meghan and I have taken to referring to the twenty-second elevator ride with the rookies). And you know what she said? With one of the most stern, most serious looks on her face, she asked, “You didn’t touch them, did you?” WTF. Yes, mom, Meghan and I decided to molest some of our favourite rookies in an elevator. That’s right, my mom thinks we’re elevator molesters. I don’t even know where to begin addressing such a thing. First of all, if the thought even passed through our thoughts, it wouldn’t have worked because, well, there were four rookies in the elevator! Four. Meghan and I could definitely not “molest” four rookies in an elevator and get out unscathed, especially since one of those four was Carlson. He’s HUGE! Second of all, if Meghan and I had done something like that, how would be go about it? Normal people don’t just go up to strangers (albeit well-known people) and grab them!  Sure, Meghan and I are not the sanest of folks, but we’re not creepy elevator molesters, either.

Just thought I’d clear that up.

Now, onto other news, the official NHL twitter has posted a few concerning tweets. The first one would be a comment made by Henrik Lundqvist…


Assuming he meant Carrie Milbank, he is incredibly incorrect. I’m sure every female on the face of the earth can agree with me. Henrik Lundqvist is a god among men, end of story. And, dear Lundy, why are you comparing your prettiness to a woman? Hmm.

I also found a post made two-hours later quite concerning as well…



 … 0.0 … Okay then, Kaner. Should I even comment on this? Would it be wrong of me to insinuate a thousand and one things from this one simple statement? While I quite agree, it is quite concerning that Kaner and I had such a similar opinion of the attractiveness of his league-mates. In the words of Meghan, “Seriously Toews, if Potsy [Kane] tells you there’s something really interesting behind a door labeled, ‘Supply Closet’, don’t go in. Runnnnn!”

Still sticking to Twitter news, it seems as though Mike Green (though we have yet to clear up whether or not greenlife52.com and its accompanying Twitter are actually Greener) likes two things: DC and exclaimation points. My case and point:


Down boy. I love DC as much as the next guy (…as long as the next guy loves DC…), but there’s no need to use 6+ exclaimation points… One will do just fine.

Now, time to talk about my favourite most hated team, the Pittsburgh Penguins. Today, Puck Daddy posted a quote from Dan Bylsma, the nerdy yet obviously effective coach of the Pens, which read:

“I’m not going to lie to you; I spent hours thinking about what I was going to say in my first meeting with Sidney. Do I tip-toe in with him? Do I pace myself, figuring I’ll get to work with him a while? I decided I was just going to stop thinking about it and tell him everything that was on my mind.”

 Way to go, Bylsma, way to get me to dislike you even more. Seriously people, Sidney-fucking-Crosby is not a god. He is not the “next one”. He is not the greatest hockey player in the world. He is a loser from Nova Scotia, who plays hockey better than a lot of people in the NHL, though that isn’t such a hard task when it comes to some players, and gets way too much attention for something Alex Ovechkin does better, bigger, faster, and epic-er(?).

Now, time to remove my cranky, biased little elf, and move on…

One final thing: the Penguins are coming to Washington. Frankly, I do not want them here. Its bad enough that Obama hasn’t been to a Capitals game yet, but now he’s meeting the enemy? Now, now, I know he’d meet whatever team had won; it’s customary, but it’s the the principle of the thing, ya’know? The ceremony begins at 6PM on Thursday. I say, you grab the touches and I’ll grab the pitchforks…

– Anna


Filed under Anna's Blog, Pittsburgh Penguins, Washington Capitals

2 responses to “Of Harassment and Sexual Deviancy (And a Few Other Tidbits)

  1. Pingback: Why My Dad Needs a GPS (And a Weather Map) « The Hockey Chronicles

  2. Pingback: 10, er 8, Things: My Mom’s 8 Most Disturbingly Hilarious Hockey-Related Thoughts « The Hockey Chronicles

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