Oh, wise and loving Hockey gods; we the humble fans grovel at your benevolent feet and ask once again as the season comes for you to heed our prayers;
Please grace the Capitals with your good favor and smile upon our players. Make them solid of bone and many of teeth. Put a pep in their step and a good brain in their heads.
And, if you have a little extra favor and time let the Blackhawks have these things also. But, if you don’t give it all to the Capitals please.
In regards to individuals;
Keep Laich safe from all his creepers; we need him unstalked.
Please let Semin keep on his feet; make his ankles strong and his back straight. Also let him keep his anger managed; maybe get him one of those little foam angry squeeze things with the poppy eyes?
Bless Backstrom with some cookies to eat as long as he keeps on being awesome; the boy’s getting too thin if you ask me.
Allow Green to keep his shoulders solid and allow him to come to terms with the fact he is a white boy from Canada.
Give Flash one of those pamplets about long plane rides and those silly stretches your supposed to do but make you look like a wierdo they have in the seat pockets on airplanes because Flash obviously didn’t read it.
Let Toews of the Blackhawks to keep on being adorable, teach him that a boy with a long face should not spike his hair, and make him a little less gullible.
Allow Burish and Sharp also of the Blackhawks the gift of Toews being a little less gullible I’m sure they’d enjoy a little extra challenge. Also protect other people from Sharp’s stick we need some hockey players with the ability to reproduce.
Let Patrick Kane keep his head on straight and his toe’s in line. Allow him to do something good so we can all love him guilt free again.
Keep the Blackshawks’ front office out of trouble they are the ones causing me chest pain.
Keep Matt Stajan’s face, of the Maple Leafs, away from both the ice and spherical hurtling objects.
Keep the NHL and the NHLPA from self imploding ALL hockey fans would appreciate it.
This is what we ask of you, the Hockey gods, for this season it is not the last or the least but I think it is not much to ask.
In the name of the forward, the defensemen, and the goalie: amen.