I have to admit the Convention was probably the best eighty bucks I ever spent. It was highly amusing. I don’t even no where to begin and I’m sorry but this post is going to be extremely long even if I keep it to the bare bones and I frankly want to make you guys who couldn’t go or missed this stuff feel like you were there but I promise it was all the hilarous stuff so you’ll get a good chuckle and a good creeping out by something Bradley does to Godro before every game if you read any of this post READ this part. READ IT. YOU WILL NEVER BE THE SAME.
The day started well. Got there early; got our time slot for autographs that we wanted that I had calculated from my highly logical process; I was right too about who was when. We took the first session but unfortunatly Anna got line B and I got line A (fortunate for me).
First we watched the Media panel because it sounded like it would be funny and it seemed logical for two burgeoning bloggers to attend it. It was hilarous. Joe B. and Locker are so hilarous and it sounds like when Anna and I are around each other just making merciless jokes at the expense of one another. Linsey Czarnik was twenty mintues late and when she came in and mentioned something about needing to borrow twenty bucks
“…Joe.” she said hintingly
“We can arrange something.” Joe B replied loadedly and Linsey turned beet red as everyone laughed at her walking straight into it.
Linsey ended up telling an AMAZING story about Brooks Laich; his mom sent her a picture of him FIGURE SKATING IN A MOUSE COSTUME. You heard it right. FIGURE. SKATING. MOUSE. OUTFIT.
And one point in Locker complaing about how Joe B. wouldn’t let him talk Joe B. goes;
“Obviously a lot of love between us.” and sets down the microphone “I HATE YOU!” He stage whispers.
The panel ended and then we got in our seperate autograph lines. We we’re probably only ten or so back each in our lines because we were so early. We waited like seemed what forever; of course because the guy told me as I walked in to the line “You can’t get out once you go in.” I instantly had to use the bathroom so I was doing to potty dance and the bass from the main stage was RIDICULOUS so my head was pounding.
They hadn’t put on the board who was signing autographs before I had gotten in line. Two guys standing behind me joked “If its Jeff Schultz I’m getting out of line and getting a hamburger!”
I warn you ahead of the time the next part is going to go into great detail about my freaking out;
Finaly (and a little late) the lady got the name plates from under the autograph table on the stage thing the table were on and walked past me the only one I saw was the one on top and it said “Micheal Nylander”
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” was my thought I hadn’t seen the other person’s name and I was sure it was somebody who was going to suck. “OH NO I GOT NYLS AND JOSE OR SOMEHTING!” Well after a couple minutes word got around the line from the back where people could read the sign.
“Who is the other one?” someone next to me asked someone behind them
“Alexander Semin.” the person replied
Not to sound like a loser but my stomach flipped. OH MY GOD! I GOT SASHA! I thought and I texted Anna who had found out before me she had Mo the first and Bourque for her line because the staff running her line was nice enough to hold up the board for the people in the front of the line a couple times.
“I HATE YOU!” was the text back; we both love Mo the first and Bourque is okay I’ve never really paid attention to him but I GOT SEMIN! You all know how much I adore him; Anna was happy for me. I felt like an ass; I’m pretty sure I may have bounced on my heels a little. Well I zoned out a little because we still had to wait a while and all of the sudden someone come in my line of vision from behind me and kind of made me jump because you know how when you see someone out of the corner of your eye they look closer then they are to you. It was Semin walking over to the platform. I felt like even more of an ass.
He got on the platform a bit before Nyls and he keep making the poor staff lady who was communicating through broken english and gestures, nuts by getting out of his seat and looking on the other side of the platform (line B and line A’s stage were the same platform but with cloth dividers with pictures some of the guys on them) and looking at the player who had gotten on their platform and waving at some of the people in line. The staff lady was trying desperetly to get him to sit still and tapped his shoulder. I heard him ask “Bourque? Bourque?” excitedly to the lady who nodded that it was Bourque and would he please sit down? He did and Nyls came up (dead silence no applause like when Semin did) and they began.
I took a couple pictures from the line but my camera was being a punk so none were very good. I also got my foot kind of stuck in the platform’s stairs and almost did a face plant but I didn’t and there were enough people in front of me neither Sasha nor Nyls (like I care about him) saw. I got my item signed by Sasha; I said thank you and made sure to bend my head as I did so he knew I was saying thank you; not in that I thought he wouldn’t undersand the English I knew he knew that much English but that’s how loud the bass was. He kinda nodded back and made one of those mumble noises you make when you know the other person can’t hear you but you try any way. He was adorable.
Later after Nyls signing my item and walking around because we had some time to kill. We got a little lost in the hotel part of the Gaylord resort and convention center (which was amazing I want to live there it was so relaxing) and we’re in this random hallway. I look up and Sasha is walking straight towards us talking on a cell phone.
“Anna!” I whispered trying to be nonchallent
“WHAT?!” Anna said loudly “WHY ARE YOU WHISPERING!?”
“SHUT UP!” I hissed resisting the urge to smack her “Look”
It took her another second but then she saw. He walked past us talking, in may I add GREAT English, on the phone. Funny thing was he looked about as lost as we did and he wasn’t with any of the staff/handlers like he was supposed to be. And, even odder he walked through like a huge group of Caps fans and NO one reconized him. In fact we saw tons of players and most people had no idea who they were if they didn’t have the jerseys on which a lot of the players didn’t so know noticed them; in fact Anna and I started a game to see who could notice the most street clothed blending in Caps. You think a bunch of die-hard Caps fans would be a bit better at that.
We went to the kids ask the questions panel with Brads, Stecks, and Brooks. I’d say it was more 50-50 little kids and their parents and the other percent COUG-AHS! And, then Anna and I. Oh and my dad. There were probably like three not father guys in there and the one behind us said really loudly
“Boy; lots of single middle aged women in here! Wonder why?” really sacrastically and we all cracked up.
Brooksie came in first and really early with the staff/handler. Well the handlers made to mistake of leaving him ALONE in a room full of little kids and COUGARS. And Brooks was really sweet and he invited this little girl up on the actual stage even though he wasn’t really supposed to and signed her stuff but all of the sudden a bunch of little kids came up and he was smiling and signing stuff but of course after a while the lame cougars had to ruin it and go up too which is totally classless; its for the kids. Brooks was going out of his way and you “ladies” had to ruin it for the kids. The staff/handlers came in agian and saw the massive mob looked like they were going to have a panic attack. They put a stop to it once the cougars began coming up so the little kids who hadn’t gone up got jipped.
Now for the BEST and CREEPIEST story about Boyd Gordon and Bradley you will ever hear and probably don’t need to know. One little kid asked about superstitions and all of the sudden Brooksie starts cracking up and he looks at Brads and he obviously telling him he’s got to tell some story. Well Brads shakes his head vigourously and talks about his routine. Well it gets down to Brooks and he goes;
“Well I’ll tell you a part of Brads routine he didn’t say,” (MM: I warn you readers the next part will blow your mind) he cracks up a little and then goes “Before every game Brads has to go over to Gordo and…” He pauses to start cracking up again and choose his words carefully “…taps him in the….” pause to crack up “… jock.”
I KID YOU NOT; MATT BRADLY TAPS BOYD GORDON IN THE JUNK BEFORE EVERY GAME.
“BUT!” Brooks tantilizes us and he’s laughing hysterically I thought he was going to cry “It’s SO funny because neither can play unless he does it!”
Another hysterical moment in this most excellent and horrifying part of my day was when a little girl pops up after being called to ask a question, now I guess Brooks’ had gotten the nickname Iron Man like the super hero? I wasn’t aware but I saw on this promotional video while standing in line and I guess the little kids are aware of it so she asks, and I think this girl is like maybe five and got a lisp and rather adorable, “Brooksie since your-your nickname is Iron Man do you wear Iron Man underwears?”
The cougars about formed a mob. Brooks turns bright red and burys his face in his hands and the emcee Chili something or other (who looked like a cougar herself but was really funny actually) eggs him on to answer he parlayed the question well “Well I think most of the guys and I wear Under Armor.” Everyone groaned and the cougars sighed dispointedly.
Bradley also mentioned that he gets really creeped out by the fact his wifes name is Sasha and Ovie calls Semin Sasha. He also of course when asked what they would be if they couldn’t be hockey players said “Well obviously I could go in to male modeling.”
“I KNEW!” Brooks yelled at him laughing “I KNEW IT WAS COMING! I just knew you had to bring it up!”
The panel was so funny I think more people then were there should have went I doubt any of the other were that funny.
Now I let Anna tell you her most exciting story about Brooks and her in her own post so be tantilized readers.
And may I say Varly was wearing the ugliest pair of acid wash jeans with this wierd like shiny tag on the back pocket they were fairly hideous. I saw him in a hallway area (thats where we saw pretty much all of the players we did; randomly wandering around) and started cracking up. However one another clothing note Neuvirth was wearing grey jeans that look a slightly creepily like the ones I was wearing. But not as skinny and girly.
We saw Gordon doing a clinic and I couldn’t keep a straight face. Is his wife aware of this ritual of his and Brads?!
I think that is all for me; Anna can cover the rest I don’t want to take it all and she’ll remember stuff I don’t. Oh and I was a little cheesed because they had a women’s jerseys in my sizes (YAY!) but the only came in either Ovie or blank.. WHY? The guys and kids got to have their pick from loads of players! I wanted a Semin or before I found out about this ritual I thought I was going to get Gordon. So I bought a blank one and decided I could get it personlized later because its a ridiculous sixty dollars for an adult jersey to get personalized and I had spent an lot of money on food and other random Caps paraphinalia so I wasn’t spending any more then the 80 for the jersey. But, apparently women only want Ovie or blank jersey. Dear Capitals, Change the Ovie to Laich and I promise the cougars will snatch them up so fast you won’t know what to do with the money.
Really it was great I plan on getting up there next year to. It was so fun and I met Sasha; which is my fan-girl-make-an-ass-of-yourself moment maybe ever. There was some room for improvement (the sound system issues come to mind) but it was a lot better than I thought it would be..
(PS I kicked Anna’s butt at the air hockey table in front of Gordon and Neuvy)
Like I said I’m sorry this post is so long but I wanted you guys to get the highlights of the day that we saw. I’ll post some of the pictures that came out okay (not a lot my camera was having really weird malfunction) later for the purpose of space.