So Semin has been gone a while… Again… Like every season… But this time the injury is a “sore wrist” instead of something legit sounding.
It’s very questionable sounding and it’s so hard not to make dirty jokes about it. It’s killing me. I kind of miss Semin. But, I always forget how bad people suck when they don’t play. How long can a sore wrist keep you out? It’s been a really long time.
In fact I think the Caps are lying to protect us. I think Semin’s hand fell off.
Just like off: poof. He probably wandered into Kettler clutching it in his good hand and took ten minutes to convince Ovie it wasn’t a left over Halloween joke. They then tried to tape it back on but sometimes even duck tape can’t fix everything.
He’s probably waiting for his custom ordered Caps colored hook to come in before he can play and those custom orders always take forever. He’ll be the first pirate hockey player.
I think if Semin had a hook it’d be pretty cool. With his accent and his hook he’ll be one eye patch and gnarly facial scar away from being an awesome Bond villian.
When he got a penalty for hooking it’d be literally.
And, that picture of him with the wrist thingie on is a ruse to get us to be calm. That’s a fake hand.
But, no worries Semin hooks are pretty cool. Sure they get a bad rap; villians always have them but I mean no one would try to fight you. Not that they aren’t already terrified of your windmills.
I say bring on Alex “hookie” Semin. It’s not like we haven’t called him a dirty hooker before. Now it’s just about his actual hook instead of his penalties.
And, if one of you lovely readers have more Photoshop skill than I and would like to make a picture of Semin with a hook and an eyepatch I would put it on here and love it forever.