“By Request” Requested Again

I asked if anyone would be interested in getting an updated Undateable post with some of the suggestions left in comments and some of the ones I had forgotten or not been able to get photo evidence of the first time. The overwhelming response was YES PLEASE!

“Jumbo” Joe Thornton

 Offense: Addicted to being shirtless and wearing “Affliction” skulls shirts when he is covered up

If you’re going to wear shirts like that then just please continue to go shirtless, Joe.

Semyon Varlamov

Offense: Mullet

(thanks @Caps_Girl!)

*Makes a noise like a cat hacking up a hairball* Bleeeeegh.

By the way; Semin has/had a mullet. End of story.

Patrick Kane

Offense: White Boys Who Try to Act Black

Yeah boy yeaaaaah he’s cheap too (except when paying for limos!) Get him why he’s hot ladies, get him why he’s hot.

 Sidney Crosby

Offense: Mama’s? No Mario’s Boy

No Mario is not his mother or even a lady but when you live with a man for several years (though he moved out supposedly), take family photo-esque and just being an in general owners pet I think it might just be as bad. No better pick up line than “What to come back to my mansion? … But, we have to be quiet the Lemieux kids bed time is 9 o’ clock… my bedtime is 11!”

Jon Toews

Offense: Bad Facial Hair

Wolverine may be Canada’s first and greatest super hero (or so my local comic book geek tells me) but that doesn’t mean you can grow Elvis-esque side burns. Nothing says sexy like patchy mutton chops. Perhaps he’ll take you for a spot of tea, Guvner.

Cody Eakin

Offense: Ed Hardy

It is a well established fact white people can not wear Ed Hardy, not even ironically. And, that is for a fact an Ed Hardy shirt because I was there that day and say the horror in person (in fact I think I took this photo for Anna.)

Mike Green

Offense: Easy Listening/Creepy Music

I’m not sure Mariah Carey is “easy listening” but nothing says “Bow chickwowwow” like her warbling voice.

Alexander Ovechkin

Offense: Speedo

I don’t care if he’s European.

Evgeni Malkin

Offense: Short-Shorts

Whether this was an actual offense on the list or not I don’t know but *shudder*

By the way he’s a repeat offender:

Alex Ovechkin

Offense: Nasty Grey Sweatpants

I don’t care if your sweatpants are made by D&G or the local K-Mart, if you paid 100 dollars or 15 dollars, nasty grey sweatpants are still a pair of nasty grey sweatpants. Well at least he managed to keep his shirt on and no socks with the sandals.

All of these people

Offense: Man Makeup

And Affliction. Sure this is for the opening video a couple seasons back but I have maybe one or two of these boys wouldn’t mind throwing on the guyliner before going to a screamo band show…

Hope you enjoyed the post (though judging from the fact “By Request” became the 2nd most popular post we ever did overnight I can safetly hazard a guess you did!)

UPDATE:  I noticed quite a few people didn’t seem to understand what this was from. It was from the TV show on VH1 “Undateable” and book of the same name. Each offense was rated from “Red Flag” all the way to “Kiss of Death”.

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8 Comments

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8 responses to ““By Request” Requested Again

  1. Caps_Girl

    *****5 stars Like a satisfying dessert after a very fine dinner. I especially loved the fab photoshop work on Patrick Kane (can you say spit-take?). Needs to be a regular feature!

  2. thehockeychronicles

    Haha well I can’t claim the Photoshop devilishness on that one. Found it on Google. -Meghan

  3. Elle

    Awesome! Soooo funny, you should just make this a weekly thing. Made my day.

  4. love chkin

    Sorry, Ov + Speedo = HOT

  5. mcawful

    “Yeah boy yeaaaaah he’s cheap too”. = I died of LULZ.

    Then you went and posted that pic of Malkin’s thighs and I puked up everything I’ve eaten since 1996.

    I’m fucking hungry.

  6. Angela

    This is awesome. You have to make it a regular feature!

    One thing you could add to the list is ugly scarves– I remember seeing this picture of Mike Green at a bar with Backstrom, and Mike is wearing some sort of checkered or plaid scarf. It looked like something he bought at Hot Topic.

  7. Semin doesn’t have and hasn’t had a mullet!!

    Angela, you are very right about Mike Green and the dumb scarf. That was at a charity promotion thing they did at the Front Page and the scarf was ridiculous. And Mike is a north American boy, so he has no “European sensibilitly” excuse!

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