I asked if anyone would be interested in getting an updated Undateable post with some of the suggestions left in comments and some of the ones I had forgotten or not been able to get photo evidence of the first time. The overwhelming response was YES PLEASE!
“Jumbo” Joe Thornton
Offense: Addicted to being shirtless and wearing “Affliction” skulls shirts when he is covered up
If you’re going to wear shirts like that then just please continue to go shirtless, Joe.
*Makes a noise like a cat hacking up a hairball* Bleeeeegh.
By the way; Semin has/had a mullet. End of story.
Offense: White Boys Who Try to Act Black
Yeah boy yeaaaaah he’s cheap too (except when paying for limos!) Get him why he’s hot ladies, get him why he’s hot.
Offense: Mama’s? No Mario’s Boy
No Mario is not his mother or even a lady but when you live with a man for several years (though he moved out supposedly), take family photo-esque and just being an in general owners pet I think it might just be as bad. No better pick up line than “What to come back to my mansion? … But, we have to be quiet the Lemieux kids bed time is 9 o’ clock… my bedtime is 11!”
Offense: Bad Facial Hair
Wolverine may be Canada’s first and greatest super hero (or so my local comic book geek tells me) but that doesn’t mean you can grow Elvis-esque side burns. Nothing says sexy like patchy mutton chops. Perhaps he’ll take you for a spot of tea, Guvner.
Offense: Ed Hardy
It is a well established fact white people can not wear Ed Hardy, not even ironically. And, that is for a fact an Ed Hardy shirt because I was there that day and say the horror in person (in fact I think I took this photo for Anna.)
Offense: Easy Listening/Creepy Music
I’m not sure Mariah Carey is “easy listening” but nothing says “Bow chickwowwow” like her warbling voice.
I don’t care if he’s European.
Whether this was an actual offense on the list or not I don’t know but *shudder*
By the way he’s a repeat offender:
Offense: Nasty Grey Sweatpants
I don’t care if your sweatpants are made by D&G or the local K-Mart, if you paid 100 dollars or 15 dollars, nasty grey sweatpants are still a pair of nasty grey sweatpants. Well at least he managed to keep his shirt on and no socks with the sandals.
All of these people
Offense: Man Makeup
And Affliction. Sure this is for the opening video a couple seasons back but I have maybe one or two of these boys wouldn’t mind throwing on the guyliner before going to a screamo band show…
Hope you enjoyed the post (though judging from the fact “By Request” became the 2nd most popular post we ever did overnight I can safetly hazard a guess you did!)
UPDATE: I noticed quite a few people didn’t seem to understand what this was from. It was from the TV show on VH1 “Undateable” and book of the same name. Each offense was rated from “Red Flag” all the way to “Kiss of Death”.