The Capitals signed two players to new contract extensions since yesterday. One makes me feel warm and fuzzy like I ate a kitten or something of equal fuzzy adorableness. The other makes me want to gargle with a shotgun. Of course I would never dare feel warm and fuzzy OR gargle with a shot gun because those are both highly dangerous things to do. (How is warm and fuzzy dangerous? Watch a tall person try to skip. It is a terrifying sight.)
The first of the two contracts was that Tom Poti signed a two year contract extension, $5,750,000 all together. As anyone knows watching Tom Poti stick his butt in the face of his own goalie on a nightly basis makes me want to punch nuns in anger. We all love Poti. He’s a swell guy and he tries so darn hard but wouldn’t he be better for the Caps on an opposing team? Like a double agent. Go forth agent double 003 and screen the other teams goalie to your hearts content. I will give you my undying love in such a case.
The seconds of the two is Michal Neuvirth for a two year, 1,150,000 per year contract extension. The time and money means there is very little to gripe about. We can see how he pans out in minimal cost and then consider how to go on from there. This contract is so good in fact I think I’ll go reenact this in public: