Category Archives: Patrick Kane

Summer Time and the Living Means We’ve Been Lazy

Sorry for the silence recently. We at the Chronicles have been very busy the past weeks but we’re back, we’ve got nothing but free time on our hands and nothing but loving attention to lavish upon the blog. So here is what we’ve missed:

The Hershey Bears are in the Calder Cup finals against the Texas Stars. I, Meghan, was at Game 1. It was fun though they lost and it took me five hours to drive there though it is only a three-hour drive.

It looks as though Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, Jose Theodore, will not be coming back next season. I’m torn on this because though Jose Theodore was beyond amazing this season well Contract Year Jose and Non-Contract Year Jose maybe two different species as we’ve seen before.

Eric Fehr and Eric Belanger are in negotiations with the Capitals however Walker and Corvo will not be invited back. Can we call backsies on the Corvo trade?

Reebok Zigtech – Ovechkin from soundscape music + sounddesign on Vimeo.

While I’m still not sure why hockey players are promoting tennis shoes here is Ovie’s Zigtech commercial. He plays hockey against some bears so obviously it’s rather dry, straight forward and boring.

A translated video from a Russian parody program during the Olympics. Ovie sounds like Ringo Star.

Friend of the Blog Russian Machine Never Break continues their “Gordo’s Take” series with Hershey Bear’s Andrew Gordon.

Ted’s buying the Wizards was approved. He now owns the Verizon Center and has started a new company called Monumental Sports and Entertainment. Things are looking good in Caps Land.

Every. Single. Summer. Why Ovie? WHY?

Versteeg raps. I pretend I’m not dying a lot inside.

JR shows what is amazing about hockey players (remembering a kid who was crying in 1992 after you let him down? Heartbreaking) Milbury reminds me why I want nothing more than to punch him in the jeans.

Alexandre Giroux may sign in the KHL next year. Why maybe not a big blow the the Caps, the Bears (AND MY HEART) would suffer a good blow from it.

That seems to be all we missed… though I feel like I’m forgetting something…

Oh yeah! Congrats to the 2010 Blackhawks for winning the Stanley Cup! We like them and anyone but Philly am I right?

SO CONGRATS AGAIN NOW WATCH DRUNK PARADE PATRICK KANE SHAKE HIS ASS AT YOU. DO IT! http://kanerdance.ytmnd.com/

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Filed under Alex Ovechkin, Andrew Gordon, Calder Cup Playoffs, Chicago Blackhawks, Hershey Bears, Jose Theodore, Kris Versteeg, Meghan's Blog, Patrick Kane, Texas Stars, The KHL, Things I Wish I Could Unsee, Washington Capitals

The Brothers Semveckin

This is perhaps the most epic thing I’ve seen… perhaps ever. Big props to Russian Machine for finding this:

Here is the link to the actual page but I took a screen cap to keep it forever and ever. And, drum roll please!

… Just as good as promised, yes? Come on Yahoo! Answers CANADA; I thought CANADIANS knew EVERYTHING that EVER happened and FOREVER that will happen in hockey… ever.

Let’s dissect this:

1. “Is Alex Oveckin and Alex Semin brothers?” Are… ARE Alex Ovechkin and Alex Semin brothers…

2. Yes, see it’s a devious Russian plot to make you confused. You see their names are spelt completely different but are pronounced exactly the same way.

3. Mama Semveckin named BOTH her boys Alexander. Because, then you can yell their names and not have one go “Mom! I’m ____” See? No messing up names. Brilliant, Mama Ovecksem.

3. And, come on I mean aren’t Russians all related in that weird Communist way? Like a big hippie commune but a country.

4. Oveckin is #8… Semin is #28 like the second eight. Duh.

5. NOTE: His argument is he thought they might be related because Patrick Sharp and Patrick Kane are related….

Yes. A thousand times yes.

This is Pat Sharp:

This is Pat Kane:

The resemblance is undeniable.

Everything makes sense now. Ohhh the cat is out of the bag, Canada, the cat is out of the bag! Patrick Kane is clearly a double agent sent by Canada to make Americans look like silly, cab driver beating, limo pants taking off, greasy hair having, mullet wearing, pupils always suspiciously too large, Rich and Big singing fools. I always chalked it up to the fact that he is from Buffalo (cue Anna telling me to stop making fun of Buffalo) and because he is 21-year-old male… and American.

But, now Canada it all  makes sense. Admit it you devious Canucks. Your names are probably really Sharp Patrick and Kane Patrick. Ohhh you evil genius you, you thought you could fool us, Patrick brothers. We are on to you Kane and Sharp, but we’ll wait until after the Stanley Cup finals to report you to INS, Kane.

So yes, B4USTAR, Alexander Ovechkin and Alexander Semin are brothers;

Brothers from another mother, yeaaaaaaaah!

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Filed under Alex Ovechkin, Alexander Semin, Chicago Blackhawks, Epic/Epic Fail, Meghan's Blog, Patrick Kane, Patrick Sharp

Weird and Wacky Search Terms

Smoothest man alive

Oh, you mean Mike Green?

Brooks Laich secret nickname

At THC, we call him “Cougar Bait”. Though, I’m not sure it’s so secret anymore.

Backstrom nickname

He’s Fudgeball, of course!

Patrick Kane training

Obviously this doesn’t happen very often

Semyon gay boy

*sniggers* No self-respecting gay boy would dress like this:

 

Funny photo Washinghton Capitals

Oh, like this?

 Arch enemy cap

Not exactly sure what this is talking about, buttttttt, we here at THC have an arch enemy, whether he knows it or not.

Ovechkin bubble gum

thehockeychronicles.com

Hopefully, when we’re not broke, we’re splurge for the $5 fee and get a domain name that’ll redirect here.

When Varlamov return

He has (coughunfortunatelycough). Three guesses for which games he has played in.

Nick Jonas

Stop. Searching. This. We have received over 100 hits because of some fangirls searching “Nick Jonas”. Leave. Us. Alone. And for good measure, have this (again):

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Filed under Alex Ovechkin, Anna's Blog, Brooks Laich, Mike Commodore, Mike Green, Nicklas Backstrom, Patrick Kane, Semyon Varlamov, Washington Capitals, Weird Search Terms

Sorry About That Face

Random ramblings once again because we are really missing the NHL right now:

  • Your random embaressing Caps photo of the week:

Neuvirth appears to be thinking:

  • Your weekly poorly photoshopped photo:

An astute reader noted in the last Caps look-a-likes that Semin looks like rock star Jon Bon Jovi. D’AH! How have we not noticed this before?! And, Semin in Bon Jovi’s 80’s hair would be nothing shot of epic:

I should not be allowed to own Photoshop.

  • Your random piece of random:

This isn’t new I just enjoy it…

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Filed under Alexander Semin, Chicago Blackhawks, Jose Theodore, Meghan's Blog, Olaf Kolzig, Patrick Kane, Random Ramblings, Semyon Varlamov, Stupid Moments in Epic Awesome-ness, Washington Capitals

The Whole Story

Everyone has seen and got a chuckle out of the photos of the Blackhawk players par-taying in their recent trip to Canada. It’s not that they’re scandalous; just amusing. But I agree with the insulted fan (girls) these pictures are OBVIOUSLY taken out of context!

Obviously, the players were having a fun night at the hotel playing a rousing game of UNO when they all became hungry and since hotel room service was closed our intrepid travellers being the team loving men they are volunteered to run out.

So after picking up some snacks and adult beverages (hey, they’re all over age now) they were driving back when they noticed some nice young ladies with a broken down car! Being nice young men they offered these nice young ladies a ride back to their home. It would be a bit squished but they wouldn’t let these nice young ladies decline the offer to help. They also offered them some of the snacks and drinks like nice young men of course.

Well some of these young ladies had no jackets! Kane and Madden being perfect gentleman offered them their shirts, I mean it’s winter!

And, Versteeg put his sunglasses on, even though it’s night out, to act out the story of the time he helped a old blind man cross the street.

And, then I took his hand like this, yup just like how you’re holding it, and guided him across the street

Patrick then asked what the nice young ladies thought of the “Pants on the Ground” song. The young ladies had no idea what that was! They’re Canadian they didn’t know about American idol. So Patrick bravely took one for the team and did a haunting redition of “Pants on the Ground” for these American pop culture deprived young ladies.

“Pants on the ground/pants on the ground/lookin’ like a fool with your pants on the ground.”

They then dropped the nice young ladies at their home and returned back to the hotel. They then stayed up to a scandelous eleven thirty at night playing Scrabble and promptly went to bed.

Thanks to the Orland Kurtenblog from whom I stole all these photos from: http://bit.ly/coQXhF

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Filed under Chicago Blackhawks, Kris Versteeg, Meghan's Blog, Off Ice Shenagins, Other Players, Other Teams, Patrick Kane, Random Ramblings, Stupid Moments in Epic Awesome-ness, Weird Strange and True

What If?

 You’ve all had those moments when your some where random like the metro, the supermarket, or the street and you see a guy and think “Wow that looks like if  _______ and _______  could possibly have a kid.” Of course they can’t because it’s two guys he looks like. Well I was introduced to morphthing.com and decided to morph together some of our favorite buddies and here we go:

Ovie/Semin

(That baby is actually very cute; count me suprised I mean one of them is called “the Caveman”)

Green/Brooks 

Gordon/Bradley

Kane/Toews

Burish/Sharp

Baby of sharp.jpg and gordo.jpg

The things you can do on the internet are rather wonderous… and totally useless…

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Filed under Adam Burish, Alex Ovechkin, Alexander Semin, Brooks Laich, Chicago Blackhawks, Jonathan Toews, Meghan's Blog, Mike Green, Patrick Kane, Patrick Sharp, Random Ramblings, Stupid Moments in Epic Awesome-ness, Things I Wish I Could Unsee, Washington Capitals

Why My Dad Needs a GPS (And a Weather Map)

I’m not sure I’ve ever mentioned this before, but my dad is horrible with directions, not as bad as my sister (she got us lost in the ghettos around Hampton Roads twice in one day, and she LIVES down there), but still really, really bad. What makes it worst is that he refuses to listen to signs, directions, or ME because, y’know, he’s always right. For example, when Meghan and I went to Kettler to go ice skating for my birthday, I wanted to go to Chop’t afterwards, which is normally no more than a twenty minute drive, but it took him TWO HOURS because he didn’t want to listen to the directions I printed out.

Now, I’m sure you’re all wondering ‘Anna, what does this have to do with hockey?’ Well, I’m glad you asked! Since I’m also a devoted Hershey fan, going to a game would be nice, especially since tickets are a lot cheaper than Capitals tickets. The logical place to see the Bears play is, of course, in Hershey, but my dad refuses to drive up there. ‘Anna, it’s in another state; it’s too far away’. So, I looked up the next Hershey @ Admirals game that isn’t on a school night (29 Dec, might I add), and he may be willing to take us to that! Out of curiousity, I used Map Quest to determine exactly how far away my house was from Norfolk and how far from Hershey.

  • My house to Norfolk: 2h33 with a total of 144,30 miles
  • My house to Hershey: 3h17 with a total of 178.52 miles

It’s an extra 44 minutes, that’s all! And, while I know traffic can be tricky up there, I’ve had worse experiences going down in that direction (it took four hours to get from Newport News to my town once, when it should only take two). When I pointed this out to my dad, guess what his excuse was? ‘There’s snow up there, Anna! There’ll be snow on the drive up!’ Snow? SNOW? Really, dad? You lived in Rochester, New York for fourteen years, and you’re concerned with the snow up in Hershey? *facepalm*

In other news, Kaner and Burish have seemed to make themselves only look more ridiculous lately. First, Kaner announces on the radio (does anyone remember which station? or knows where I can find a soundbite?) that he and Burish saw Miley Cyrus in concert. I never thought I’d actually have something in common with those two boys (except being American and growing up in upstate New York). In my defense, I saw her when I was fifteen, not twenty-one and twenty-six…

Anyway, to add to their stupidity, they do this at the Hawks’ Halloween shindig:

hawksblackface-thumb-580xauto-28547

*rolls eyes* Does anyone know what Sharpie is supposed to be?

Lately, it seems as though Kaner and Burish have been hanging out a lot lately. Does this mean Kaner dumped Tazer? And Burish is trying to get over the fact that Sharpie’s engaged? *devilish grin* I think soooooo =]

To stick to the theme of my family, we all know my mom is a creeper when it comes to talking hockey. First, she implied that Meghan and I molested Eakin, Carlson, and Holtby in an elevator, and then, she thought we were devising to personally buy Tazer or Kaner. Thankfully, her latest comment was golden. We were in the car after a trip to Sonic for ice cream and I was making fun of Crosby, like I always do. After comparing his looks to a beaver/duck hybrid and making fun of his ass and specially made pants, my mom told me:

  • “Anna, you should be nice to him! He probably doesn’t have any friends!”

It was easily the best thing she has ever said to me.

Also, I finally got around to listening to the hour-long Hockey Diaries, which followed Brooksy and Karl Alzner around for the 08-09 season, and it somehow managed to make me love Brooksy even more than I already do. Impossible, I thought! But, after hearing all the adorable stories from his mother (he sure did cry a lot) and Brooksy bossing Greener around while raking leaves (they’re totally like an old married couple), it happened. Not that a mind. Nope, I don’t mind at all. To listen or download, go here!

On one last note, tonight was Brooksy’s 200th consecutive game with the Capitals XD

– Anna

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Filed under Adam Burish, Anna's Blog, Bromance, Brooks Laich, Chicago Blackhawks, Jonathan Toews, Other Players, Other Teams, Patrick Kane, Patrick Sharp, Washington Capitals