Category Archives: Things I Wish I Could Unsee

Things I Wish I Could Unsee

Summer Time and the Living Means We’ve Been Lazy

Sorry for the silence recently. We at the Chronicles have been very busy the past weeks but we’re back, we’ve got nothing but free time on our hands and nothing but loving attention to lavish upon the blog. So here is what we’ve missed:

The Hershey Bears are in the Calder Cup finals against the Texas Stars. I, Meghan, was at Game 1. It was fun though they lost and it took me five hours to drive there though it is only a three-hour drive.

It looks as though Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, Jose Theodore, will not be coming back next season. I’m torn on this because though Jose Theodore was beyond amazing this season well Contract Year Jose and Non-Contract Year Jose maybe two different species as we’ve seen before.

Eric Fehr and Eric Belanger are in negotiations with the Capitals however Walker and Corvo will not be invited back. Can we call backsies on the Corvo trade?

Reebok Zigtech – Ovechkin from soundscape music + sounddesign on Vimeo.

While I’m still not sure why hockey players are promoting tennis shoes here is Ovie’s Zigtech commercial. He plays hockey against some bears so obviously it’s rather dry, straight forward and boring.

A translated video from a Russian parody program during the Olympics. Ovie sounds like Ringo Star.

Friend of the Blog Russian Machine Never Break continues their “Gordo’s Take” series with Hershey Bear’s Andrew Gordon.

Ted’s buying the Wizards was approved. He now owns the Verizon Center and has started a new company called Monumental Sports and Entertainment. Things are looking good in Caps Land.

Every. Single. Summer. Why Ovie? WHY?

Versteeg raps. I pretend I’m not dying a lot inside.

JR shows what is amazing about hockey players (remembering a kid who was crying in 1992 after you let him down? Heartbreaking) Milbury reminds me why I want nothing more than to punch him in the jeans.

Alexandre Giroux may sign in the KHL next year. Why maybe not a big blow the the Caps, the Bears (AND MY HEART) would suffer a good blow from it.

That seems to be all we missed… though I feel like I’m forgetting something…

Oh yeah! Congrats to the 2010 Blackhawks for winning the Stanley Cup! We like them and anyone but Philly am I right?

SO CONGRATS AGAIN NOW WATCH DRUNK PARADE PATRICK KANE SHAKE HIS ASS AT YOU. DO IT! http://kanerdance.ytmnd.com/

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Filed under Alex Ovechkin, Andrew Gordon, Calder Cup Playoffs, Chicago Blackhawks, Hershey Bears, Jose Theodore, Kris Versteeg, Meghan's Blog, Patrick Kane, Texas Stars, The KHL, Things I Wish I Could Unsee, Washington Capitals

Alex Ovechkin: Country Music Star

In a summer already filled with scandal after an uncouth Canadian Yahoo! answers user broke us the news that not only were Alex Semin and Alex Ovechkin  brothers but so were Patrick Sharp and Patrick Kane I wondered if there could be anything else of interest to happen after such amazing news.

But yesterday two Twitter followers and hockey fans (@CanadaYotesFan and Amy of yotesgurl.wordpress.com) I follow broke some extremely mind-blowing news;  Alex Ovechkin most out spoken opposer to said music genre is a country music star and guitarist for Lady Antebellum:

(picture taken by @CanadaYotesFan at said concert)

I know I was stunned too. Pick your jaw up off the floor, and dust it off if your floor is as dirty as our. I suppose we should have seen this coming; when you hang out with a man who has a mullet all the time it’s only a matter of time before you pick up the banjo.

To find out who this amazing supposed doppelgänger is I contacted the blogs resident Pittsburgh Penguins and country music expert and got on the case. Of course after a good few minutes of razing about how she likes a band with a guitarist that could be Ovie’s brother (but, that is Semin what am I talking about) then I got on the case.

His name is Dave Haywood… or is it?

(that is all Anna’s wonderful photoshop fault; you can thank her.)

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Filed under Alex Ovechkin, Meghan's Blog, Off Ice Shenagins, Things I Wish I Could Unsee

The Link Grab Bag

Hey, there folks. I’m still having computer problems but I got my hands on one long enough to compile a list of the things that have been enthralling the folks at the Chronicles this week:

Nice velvet jacket, Greenie

That’s all folks. I’m still hoping to be back to normal scheduling soon-ish.

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Filed under Adam Burish, College hockey, Hershey Bears, Meghan's Blog, Things I Wish I Could Unsee, UW Badgers, Washington Capitals

Awkward…

I commandeered some poor saps computer for a bit and decided that I should probably blog something but the question was a post about what? Frankly I’ve been very glad that I haven’t had no computer access, other than what little my 3G network could supply, due to the fact that the past few days the internet has been smashed with bad feelings over the Ovie/Campbell hit. Fans of other teams who usually get along with Caps fans have been at each other throats. Fans of the Caps have been at other Caps fans throats for having different opinions! I’m sick of all this nasty blog posts and Twitter spats so let’s have some fun. I think we all need it.

UPDATE: After I first posted this I found out it was Awkward Moments Day. WIN.

So here is a greatest hits of my favorite (and therefore often embarrassing) hockey related photos I’ve seen over the years.  Disclaimer: I take no responsibility for the eye searing-ness, can’t-unsee-ing-ness of what you are about to see. They’re all PG and yet…

Let’s start with an old favorite! Jose and his pimping cane!

Jose Theodore’s pimping service for all your men in ugly shirt needs!

You all thought Semyon Varlamov came up with that roller skating picture idea first?

MY EYES! MY EYES… nice white socks to your knees with black shorts Ovie. I see you ‘old man tourist’-ing it up back there.

I feel like Jose pimp cane person was also somehow involved in this… what in the heck?

Nice 90s hair, Eric.

You gangsta’, you rollin’ Karl. (That is Neuvy Face)

Awkward…

Most extremely awkward.

Mike Green made more fun faces when he was chubby.

… I. Don’t. Even. Know.

I take that back NOW I. Don’t. Know.

MY EYES! THAT IS EYE ASSAULT!

Sweden you crazy!

Do not even want to know what you are talking about, Mike.

Ahhhh baby hockey goalies!

I can only describe this picture with one thing: O:

What did we learn? Nothing. Except that maybe Ovie is a one man awkward train.

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Filed under Hershey Bears, Meghan's Blog, Other Players, Other Teams, Random Ramblings, Things I Wish I Could Unsee, Washington Capitals, Weird Strange and True

Weird and Wacky Search Terms: Oh Jeez Patrick.

Got some good pictures for weird and wacky this week. Thank you, internet.

Adam Burish and Patrick Kane with Miley

We’re gonna pretend this never happened…

Jackets that say oh shit

Brooks Laich speak french

You wish…

David Steckel in winter olympics 2010

Awww but no.

Staal farm

I agree who ever wrote this caption, I agree. (Thanks Anna the Chronicles keeper of Staal pictures.)

Joe Finley south carolina stingrays arrested

(naplesnews.com)

Oh man I hope they mean the lawnmower thing and he didn’t get arrested again.

Canada vs U.S. hockey cartoon

 

Ovechkin on milk carton

A team Canada  fan should have done that but all I found on Google was this.

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Filed under Chicago Blackhawks, Columbus Blue Jackets, Meghan's Blog, Other Players, Patrick Sharp, Random Ramblings, SC Stingrays, Stupid Moments in Epic Awesome-ness, Things I Wish I Could Unsee, Washington Capitals, Weird Search Terms

An Old Post Returns

So because I could not come up with an original post idea (though I do have a potential Caps look-a-likes post coming up if I have enough that aren’t lame) So I thought I would just link some stuff in the most triumphant return of: MID-WEEK BABBLINGS! (if you weren’t a reader during the off season this is something I did quite often)

The Dark Blue Jacket would like to remind his team to keep Milan. And, I hope they do unless of course the Caps would like him back.

There’s something I never needed to see… Okay maybe a little. Oy vey go to the Blackhawks offical wordpress (they are so damn fancy) for more pictures and go to here to find out what in the hell is happening in that photo.

Wonderful World of Loser Domi says goodbye to the former Leafs player I liked to refer to as  the Delicate Princess.  Keep an eye out for those darn soccer balls in Calgary.

The Blackhawks did a Ladies Man video . Quite few Cap fans said Burish pales in comparison to the Caps ladies man. I for one have no opinion because I am not allowed to have an opinion because I am a lady hockey blogger and there fore am expected to be nothing but professional and pretend I have never noticed that Burish is about as good looking as Laich because that would be wrong of me as a lady hockey blogger but it’s totally cool for a male blogger to say it.

Keep up with the Blackhawks Kane and Versteeg graced us with a duet at a recent Blackhawks charity event. I can’t even; I confess I couldn’t even watch the whole video:

The always brilliant Down Goes Brown and Bloge Salming banded together once again to make a hilarous video. The Canadian’s Olympic Welcoming Song:

General consensus amongst fans was this is the most hilarous Caps related thing we’ve ever seen on the internet. Thank you as always NHLol

And, this photo whose source I do not know is general consensus the cutest damn thing ever.

Capitals Redline Mondays came back tonight. Why I know the “mondays” isn’t actually part of the name for some reason it is stuck in my head that way. My biggest complaint? Who in the heck in this “Lou” guy during the “Forces of Hockey” segment (some prof. at the UVA apparently) and WHERE IS PROFFESOR BRADLEY?! (yes, it’s spelled with two “F”s)

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Filed under Adam Burish, Alex Ovechkin, Alexander Semin, Chicago Blackhawks, Meghan's Blog, Milan Jurcina, Nicklas Backstrom, Other Players, Other Teams, Random Ramblings, Things I Wish I Could Unsee, Toronto Maple Leafs, Washington Capitals

Weird and Wacky Search Terms

It would seem for this Weird and Wacky Search Terms our search term box was invaded by people searching for the Blackhawks and Bears.

Can Jonathan Toews speak german?

No, but that’d be so awesome! I do know he speaks French (so no sassing in the comments about it)

(PS. of course I photoshoped that sillies if J. Toews was ever really in lederhosen I’d be dead of laughter)

Neuvirth looks Asian

Yes, yes he does.

Keith and Brent Seabrook

 

Keith Seabrook – he used to be a Caps prospect and then he wasn’t. Now I have sad.

Brent Seabrook and Duncan Keith

It’s just man love m’kay?

Hershey Bears bus

Unless it’s a really cool bus with like a giant bear on the side, or even beter a giant spirit bear on top ala the Olympic opening ceremonies, leave the poor children alone.

Daren Puppa Goalie

THIS Daren Puppa goalie? Haha yes that is a picture of the action figure I own (taken by Anna) I don’t know why I own one either. Well I do I got swindled by an old lady.

The Hockey Chronicles

Thaaaaaaat’s ME! Does no one else remember that show?

Ovechkin Selfish 

You would be selfish too with a body like that (*shudders* I’m so sorry you had to see that. Put a shirt on Ovie, bejeezus)

How can u tell if someone is around ur h

No, what what does it say?!  It’s too long it cut off! What is it? How can you tell is someone is around your h– horse? house? hockey sticks? hockey goal… DID TOM POTI GOOGLE THAT?!

BONUS!

So this isn’t a search term but while making this I ran into this photo:

Oh man even I can’t handle the cuteness.

Which made me this of this photo:

*Boop!*

It’s the least I owed you after the Ovie picture.

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Filed under Alex Ovechkin, Brent Seabrook, Bromance, Chicago Blackhawks, Jonathan Toews, Meghan's Blog, Mike Green, Other Players, Other Teams, Random Ramblings, Things I Wish I Could Unsee, Washington Capitals, Weird Search Terms