Category Archives: Things I Wish I Could Unsee

Things I Wish I Could Unsee

Weird and Wacky Search Terms

Weird and Wacky search terms is a semi-regular post in which we delve in to our search terms and see what weird things people have been searching and even weirder if we can help find what they’re looking for. (We recieved a lot of new readers this past week so just a quick introduction)

Let’s start out of with a bang:

Matt bradley on jizz to ovie

I don’t know how Semin’s nickname got so very confused in some ones head but… I don’t even know.

Evgeni malkin nick jonas

I didn’t make this promise.

Staahl brothers

This is the first picture that comes up when you google image that. First search result: Staal Brother Drinking Game! (Play at your own risk)

Alex ovechkin’s hockey pants

The same thing has come up before but with Patrick Sharp. I have NO clue what they mean… But here a picture of Ovie in his infamous jean/sweatpants things.

Caps mike green hair 2010

This is why we call him “Duck Ass”.

Backstrom chess

Scarlet Caps? Not sure I actually google imaged this and it came up off the Chronicles.

Semin lovely

Hehe… sorry I’m five. But, hey when you are a snazzy dresser like that how are you anything but lovely?

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Filed under Alex Ovechkin, Alexander Semin, Meghan's Blog, Mike Green, Nicklas Backstrom, Other Players, Other Teams, Pittsburgh Penguins, Random Ramblings, Things I Wish I Could Unsee, Washington Capitals, Weird Search Terms

Weird and Wacky Search Terms

It’s the most triumphant return of Wacky and Weird Search Terms. It’s been a while since we’ve dove into the search terms part of our stat page and not for want of weird search terms!

Akward Mullet

Just google “Hockeyfrilla” and all the awkard mullets your could ever want are yours!

Fire breathing penguins

All I know is if the Pens mascot, what ever his name might be, breathed fire he’d be about a millions times cooler

Semin Jokes

You need to google “Semin” jokes? I mean come on they write themselves “Semin in the box” “Semin is all over the place” “Semin was in his face”… you get the picture.

Why does semin varlamov play hockey anymore [sic]

I have no idea why SEMIN Varlamov plays hockey anymore, kiddos…

Pictures of evgei malkin kissing a boy

It’s better I just don’t comment…

Brooks laich good nickname

Um, the Hockey Chronicle’s original nicknames sensation Cougar Bait of course!

Pictures of ovechkin on hershey bears

No BUT I have a bunch of now Caps at Hershey Bear legendary ugly sweater party!

(thanks to @itallfallsdwn for emailing this picture!)

See who you can pick out.

Staal brothers nhl

Yeah all of them except that bum younger one… It’s not the littlest one’s fault though the NHL can only take so many freaky chins at once.

Crosby sucks malkin swallows shirt

Best. Shirt. EVER.

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Filed under Hershey Bears, Meghan's Blog, Other Players, Other Teams, Things I Wish I Could Unsee, Washington Capitals, Weird Search Terms

What If?

 You’ve all had those moments when your some where random like the metro, the supermarket, or the street and you see a guy and think “Wow that looks like if  _______ and _______  could possibly have a kid.” Of course they can’t because it’s two guys he looks like. Well I was introduced to morphthing.com and decided to morph together some of our favorite buddies and here we go:

Ovie/Semin

(That baby is actually very cute; count me suprised I mean one of them is called “the Caveman”)

Green/Brooks 

Gordon/Bradley

Kane/Toews

Burish/Sharp

Baby of sharp.jpg and gordo.jpg

The things you can do on the internet are rather wonderous… and totally useless…

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Filed under Adam Burish, Alex Ovechkin, Alexander Semin, Brooks Laich, Chicago Blackhawks, Jonathan Toews, Meghan's Blog, Mike Green, Patrick Kane, Patrick Sharp, Random Ramblings, Stupid Moments in Epic Awesome-ness, Things I Wish I Could Unsee, Washington Capitals

Go Forth Readers and Do Evil With This Post

(Mucho gracias to @caps_girl)
Awwwww look puppies… Aren’t they cute? And, fancy white jacket Bouchard!

Wait… What’s that… There’s a Caps game tonight?… What we’re playing like the Wild? Panthers? Leafs?… What?! The Penguins? How come I haven’t heard about that? Oh wait it’s ALL I’VE HEARD ABOUT!

Ps. Pick up your awesome Hershey Bears and puppies calender here: http://www.udservices.org/service-dogscalendar.asp It’s 15 dollars and for charity so you know BUY IT.

I’m sure you’ve seen a million hyped up blog posts so I thought I’d just give you all this junk (aren’t I generous?) Here’s plenty of things to laugh out loud about at the Pen’s expense.

Grab Bag:

Some Pens fans thought it’d be a good idea to make sparkly GIFs of their players: http://bit.ly/2IMyuS

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A motivational poster for your workplace, sir or madam?


(As distrubing as this is what’s disturbed me more for a while? What creeper snuck in and took a picture anyways?)

They’re such helpful young men…

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INNUENDO!!!

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I do find this amusing even if Pen’s fans who came up with the sign.

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‘Cause you’ve all wanted to see Jordan Staal wearing a cheerleading top; ADMIT IT!

What a bunch of puss- I mean pleasant young men.

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BOOM! Pwnd…

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Brotherly Confusion

And with that I bid you adieu…

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Filed under Hershey Bears, Meghan's Blog, Other Players, Other Teams, Pittsburgh Penguins, Random Ramblings, Random Video, Stupid Moments in Epic Awesome-ness, Things I Wish I Could Unsee, Washington Capitals

Ten Things Green Will Be Doing NOT at the Olympics

Mike Green was recently “snubbed” by Team Canada and not put on the roster. So here’s ten things Mike Green will be doing NOT at the Olympics.

1. Writing some emo songs for the Baby Blue Sound Crew. Maybe he’ll write Team Canada a love song like the One Semester of Spanish Spanish Love Song.

2. Eating his weight in green jello and what ever flavor green ice cream is

3. Paint sad clown paintings

4. Hug Gary the bear

5. Get more flowery, I mean manly and totally not embaressing, tattoos

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6. Catch up on some reading

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blue·line or blue line (bloomacr.gifprime.giflimacr.gifnlprime.gif) n. Either of two blue lines running across an ice-hockey rink, usually 60 feet from each goal, and dividing the rink into defensive, neutral, and offensive zones.

7. Moonlight as a bartender

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8. Hang out with another person who won’t be at the Olympics

Ohhhh I went there Pen’s Staal…

9. Go to the movies.

10. Make more commercials where he creeps in the backround!

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Filed under HOT MESS!, Meghan's Blog, Mike Green, Pittsburgh Penguins, Random Ramblings, Random Video, Stupid Moments in Epic Awesome-ness, Things I Wish I Could Unsee, Washington Capitals

Green Getting Saucy

Micheal what-ever-your-middle-names-is Green you do not frighten Nicklas you hear me? You do not feel him up on semi-national television. You especially don’t do it when Ovechkin is injured so he can’t beat you up. Sure it was the cutest thing I’ve ever seen but you don’t do it. What is Brooksie going to think? Do you want to be the guy who switches best friends all the time?


(H/t to @mrstiffanyrenee)

Nicki does look rather terrified. Then agian I don’t think most guys want other guys feeling them all up on television so I suppose they would look terrified also. Except Mike Green apparently:

That hug was just man-tastic.

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Filed under Man-Child, Meghan's Blog, Mike Green, Nicklas Backstrom, Random Video, Things I Wish I Could Unsee, Washington Capitals

If You Thought You Wanted to Scrub Your Eyes Out Before

In honor of Mike Green’s new Geico commercial I thought I might dig out some of the funnier hockey commercials I’ve seen over the years;

First let’s start with my favorite of a series of Bruins commercials that lay out the rules of Bruins fandom; This one is about the rules of dating.

Now if you’ve been reading this blog for a while you will remember the horror I experienced upon seeing the Crosby “Shower Lurker” commercial well I had NO idea there was another commercial in that series with another NHL star

We’ve all seen this commercial and you all love it

Poor Brendan Shanahan! That Sergei is mean!

This is a hockey/weather channel commercial; NONSENSE! You say? Well watch:

This gives me many very bad ideas

Here’s a old Capitals commercial:

So Anna told be to stop being a Pengui-phob and to watch this and I’m so glad I did “chicka-chicka-yeeeea”

Though good someone tell me what Gonchar(?) is saying at the end to Malkin I can’t understand a word he is saying.

Bowling would be better if it was hockey.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cfhKZWS8Sys&feature=youtube_gdata

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Filed under Boston Bruins, Meghan's Blog, Other Players, Pittsburgh Penguins, Random Ramblings, Random Video, Sergei Fedorov, Things I Wish I Could Unsee, Washington Capitals