Category Archives: Stupid Moments in Epic Awesome-ness

Stupid Moments in Epic Awesome-ness

In Which A Capitals Player Nearly Signed Meghan’s Ass

Okay, I’ll be honest, the title makes the story sound much more interesting than it actually is. The idea itself is kind of wacked yet the players did not react as much as I had hoped. Since Meghan was unable to go to Kettler with me yesterday, she had to scheme up something for me to do. What we decided on was to have a player sign a picture of Meghan. Yes, a picture of Meghan. I believe this idea is odd within itself. How often does a hockey player sign a picture of a random girl? Of course, random is not enough for us, we needed to get awkward.

I’m going to get all emotional and fuzzy and say that going back to Kettler after almost a year was kind of like coming home. I got there a little early and was able to see most of the drills done by the Bears they brought up (as well as a couple of other Caps players as well) before I went into the main rink to watch practice. As reflected by the Washington Post, the Caps are hoping they will be “rested, not rusty” when they come into the second round of the playoffs (starting tomorrow, by the way!) and honestly, I think yesterday’s practice reflected this. The boys looked relaxed and calm, playfully rough housing and goofing around at practice. Honestly, I think that is the key for success in this off-season. The team has the skill and the talent, but when trouble hits, they just freak out and fail fail fail. So honestly, I believe nothing rings more true than this:

I also did something I have never done before: I deliberately sought out players for their autographs. Normally, Meghan and I don’t do this; we just go to Kettler to watch practices and then leave. But since I had a mission, I had to. I waited on the side for autographs, with my We Want the Cup in Washington shirt and Meghan’s picture. I waited for the perfect player to sign the picture when Boyd Gordon came over!

Boyd was signing a bunch of pucks and shirts and such came to my picture, grabs my sharpie and the picture, and stops. He makes a confused face, looks up at me, back at the picture, back at me, and then shrugs and says “Alright.” I laughed and smiled at him, “Yup.” In the parking lot (which is really, really, really creepy – seriously people!), I got Holtby to sign it (since we all know how much Meghan loves him), but he didn’t react! It was rather disappointing.

I’m probably going on Monday, too, so maybe others will react more fantastically. This picture is going to get passed around until we get everyone, I swear. Summer is just beginning, readers. THC is back and Meghan and I are more readier than ever to be creeps.

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Filed under Anna's Blog, Capitals Practice, Stupid Moments in Epic Awesome-ness

We Trust in the Wink

It is Free Agent day and the Chronicles woke up knowing that while there were to be no MAJOR moves in the Caps organization they expected there to be SOME sort of movement.

So we settled into see what might happen. High noon rolled around. Things started out very well as several promising players hit the market. I nearly peed myself when Zbynek Michalek hit the market, the Coyotes not planning to sign him. THAT IS THE D-MAN WE NEED! your Chronicles bloggers thought.

He was signed by the Pens…

Well that was alright we’d get over it. Former Badger and Captain of World Jr. Team USA Derek Stepan signed with the Rangers, the team that drafted him. Things were beginning to heat up.

Dan Ellis hit the market. While maybe not a “must buy” Dan might be the kind of goalie we need to play a Bacashihua-like role to Varly (or Neuvy) playing when the young guns needed a rest from goal. However he signed with the Lightning.

No loss, no loss at all.

Adam Burish of the Blackhawks and 2006 Champion Badgers reportedly hit the market. Oh boy I’d love that but we don’t need anymore wingers.

Then Twitter, our source for all things ever, flooded with signings and players hitting the market and I lost track besides the Pens signing yet another defenseman the Caps could have used.

And, Caps fans waited… and waited… and waited… and nothing happened.

And, soon Twitter quieted down and Caps fans nerves began to run on high. We at the Chronicles were not worried tough perhaps we expected maybe a little something. Just a teensy little something. Even a “hey we’re just sort of chillin’, seeing what is going on before jumping in” from a person in the Caps front office.

However I trust George McPhee, the man with the master plan. So I’m sure though perhaps some great D-man who we actually could have signed; do not forget Volchenkov would probably want too much money for our salary cap so don’t dwell on him.

I know everyone is a little stressed out and emo after their less than spectacular playoff performance but it is only the first day of free agency and you never know what might happen.Chill out and here have pictures of cats with improper grammer.

Here is the NHL offical list of avaliable UFAs and ones that have been signed.

Ohhh and a merry Canada Day to ye, readers from the north.

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Filed under Meghan's Blog, Other Players, Other Teams, Stupid Moments in Epic Awesome-ness, Washington Capitals

Weird and Wacky Search Terms: a Particularly Creepy Week of Search Terms

Okay here we go, wacky and weird search terms once again!

Things that make you say oh shit

How about this search term from the same week “mario lemieux played like a girl” Ohhhhh shit!  Buuuurn.

Varlamov Mullet

… Could you be sitting ANY creepier?

Staal kissing Malkin

I’d really rather not know…

Why does brooks laich shave his hair

Why would you EVER need to know WHY he does it? Does it matter? Maybe it’s just too hot down in Virginia compared to Canada. Maybe his head gets all stanky with long hair.

Mike green no shirt capitals

I never… want to speak of this again.

Milan Jurcina

Nice outfit, Juice, nice outfit. (By the way; when are you coming back, favoritest Slovak?!)


Filed under Brooks Laich, Meghan's Blog, Mike Green, Milan Jurcina, Pittsburgh Penguins, Stupid Moments in Epic Awesome-ness, The Crew, Washington Capitals, Weird Search Terms

A Tale of Two Goal Songs

Today I was checking Twitter when I saw a local DC band I’m rather fond of, Redline Addiction, had posted a tweet with a link that said tantalizingly that Caps fan should check it out. I didn’t know or think they were Caps fans so I clicked with pins and needles to see what it was. The link took me to a Facebook group called “The New Caps Goal Songs Stinks (and Redline Addiction’s was way better)” A pretty self-explanatory group bemoaning the new slow, boring Caps goal song and endorsing a song submitted to the same contest but not chosen. While the first statement of the group’s name was true, in my opinion, the second statement was yet to be seen and I couldn’t listen to the song at that very moment. So I saved the page and vowed to check it out as soon as I got some where I could.

And, I did. I have to say I really enjoy Redline Addiction’s version much better. It is face paced, and integrates the “123 It’s All Your Fault!” chant into the song. It is A plus if  you ask me bringing the Caps fan base into the song.

Caps Chant by Redline Addicts

Compare to the song that won:

Rock the Red

Perhaps there was better submissions than the Redline Addicts song but it sure as hell isn’t worse than the winner. I’m no music major or critic so maybe I don’t have a right to an opinion but I sure do have ears and I can tell good from not as good. What went into choosing “Rock the Red” I do not know. While the song is less than spectacular I’m sure the band who made it but a lot of effort into making it so I can’t fault them but the people who judged it. Sorry Elliot in the Morning and Caps front office you messed up on this one. I don’t know if you can change the song. I’m sure you had some stipulation to the contest saying you have to play it and perhaps for a certain period of time but if it CAN be changed it NEEDS to be it doesn’t have to be the Redline Addicts “Caps Chant” (though I very much like it) but it need to be something that won’t have the boys falling asleep mid post-goal hug.

Perhaps if Caps fan talk to the right people of our very fan base connected organization we can get some information about whether the song can be changed and if so they’d be interested in song like the Redline Addiction’s song. And, you can follow Redline Addiction on Twitter here.


Filed under Meghan's Blog, Serious Thoughts, Stupid Moments in Epic Awesome-ness, Washington Capitals

Weird and Wacky Search Terms: Oh Jeez Patrick.

Got some good pictures for weird and wacky this week. Thank you, internet.

Adam Burish and Patrick Kane with Miley

We’re gonna pretend this never happened…

Jackets that say oh shit

Brooks Laich speak french

You wish…

David Steckel in winter olympics 2010

Awww but no.

Staal farm

I agree who ever wrote this caption, I agree. (Thanks Anna the Chronicles keeper of Staal pictures.)

Joe Finley south carolina stingrays arrested


Oh man I hope they mean the lawnmower thing and he didn’t get arrested again.

Canada vs U.S. hockey cartoon


Ovechkin on milk carton

A team Canada  fan should have done that but all I found on Google was this.

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Filed under Chicago Blackhawks, Columbus Blue Jackets, Meghan's Blog, Other Players, Patrick Sharp, Random Ramblings, SC Stingrays, Stupid Moments in Epic Awesome-ness, Things I Wish I Could Unsee, Washington Capitals, Weird Search Terms

Sorry About That Face

Random ramblings once again because we are really missing the NHL right now:

  • Your random embaressing Caps photo of the week:

Neuvirth appears to be thinking:

  • Your weekly poorly photoshopped photo:

An astute reader noted in the last Caps look-a-likes that Semin looks like rock star Jon Bon Jovi. D’AH! How have we not noticed this before?! And, Semin in Bon Jovi’s 80’s hair would be nothing shot of epic:

I should not be allowed to own Photoshop.

  • Your random piece of random:

This isn’t new I just enjoy it…

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Filed under Alexander Semin, Chicago Blackhawks, Jose Theodore, Meghan's Blog, Olaf Kolzig, Patrick Kane, Random Ramblings, Semyon Varlamov, Stupid Moments in Epic Awesome-ness, Washington Capitals

The Whole Story

Everyone has seen and got a chuckle out of the photos of the Blackhawk players par-taying in their recent trip to Canada. It’s not that they’re scandalous; just amusing. But I agree with the insulted fan (girls) these pictures are OBVIOUSLY taken out of context!

Obviously, the players were having a fun night at the hotel playing a rousing game of UNO when they all became hungry and since hotel room service was closed our intrepid travellers being the team loving men they are volunteered to run out.

So after picking up some snacks and adult beverages (hey, they’re all over age now) they were driving back when they noticed some nice young ladies with a broken down car! Being nice young men they offered these nice young ladies a ride back to their home. It would be a bit squished but they wouldn’t let these nice young ladies decline the offer to help. They also offered them some of the snacks and drinks like nice young men of course.

Well some of these young ladies had no jackets! Kane and Madden being perfect gentleman offered them their shirts, I mean it’s winter!

And, Versteeg put his sunglasses on, even though it’s night out, to act out the story of the time he helped a old blind man cross the street.

And, then I took his hand like this, yup just like how you’re holding it, and guided him across the street

Patrick then asked what the nice young ladies thought of the “Pants on the Ground” song. The young ladies had no idea what that was! They’re Canadian they didn’t know about American idol. So Patrick bravely took one for the team and did a haunting redition of “Pants on the Ground” for these American pop culture deprived young ladies.

“Pants on the ground/pants on the ground/lookin’ like a fool with your pants on the ground.”

They then dropped the nice young ladies at their home and returned back to the hotel. They then stayed up to a scandelous eleven thirty at night playing Scrabble and promptly went to bed.

Thanks to the Orland Kurtenblog from whom I stole all these photos from:

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Filed under Chicago Blackhawks, Kris Versteeg, Meghan's Blog, Off Ice Shenagins, Other Players, Other Teams, Patrick Kane, Random Ramblings, Stupid Moments in Epic Awesome-ness, Weird Strange and True

What If?

 You’ve all had those moments when your some where random like the metro, the supermarket, or the street and you see a guy and think “Wow that looks like if  _______ and _______  could possibly have a kid.” Of course they can’t because it’s two guys he looks like. Well I was introduced to and decided to morph together some of our favorite buddies and here we go:


(That baby is actually very cute; count me suprised I mean one of them is called “the Caveman”)





Baby of sharp.jpg and gordo.jpg

The things you can do on the internet are rather wonderous… and totally useless…

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Filed under Adam Burish, Alex Ovechkin, Alexander Semin, Brooks Laich, Chicago Blackhawks, Jonathan Toews, Meghan's Blog, Mike Green, Patrick Kane, Patrick Sharp, Random Ramblings, Stupid Moments in Epic Awesome-ness, Things I Wish I Could Unsee, Washington Capitals

Go Forth Readers and Do Evil With This Post

(Mucho gracias to @caps_girl)
Awwwww look puppies… Aren’t they cute? And, fancy white jacket Bouchard!

Wait… What’s that… There’s a Caps game tonight?… What we’re playing like the Wild? Panthers? Leafs?… What?! The Penguins? How come I haven’t heard about that? Oh wait it’s ALL I’VE HEARD ABOUT!

Ps. Pick up your awesome Hershey Bears and puppies calender here: It’s 15 dollars and for charity so you know BUY IT.

I’m sure you’ve seen a million hyped up blog posts so I thought I’d just give you all this junk (aren’t I generous?) Here’s plenty of things to laugh out loud about at the Pen’s expense.

Grab Bag:

Some Pens fans thought it’d be a good idea to make sparkly GIFs of their players:


A motivational poster for your workplace, sir or madam?

(As distrubing as this is what’s disturbed me more for a while? What creeper snuck in and took a picture anyways?)

They’re such helpful young men…





I do find this amusing even if Pen’s fans who came up with the sign.


‘Cause you’ve all wanted to see Jordan Staal wearing a cheerleading top; ADMIT IT!

What a bunch of puss- I mean pleasant young men.



BOOM! Pwnd…


Brotherly Confusion

And with that I bid you adieu…

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Filed under Hershey Bears, Meghan's Blog, Other Players, Other Teams, Pittsburgh Penguins, Random Ramblings, Random Video, Stupid Moments in Epic Awesome-ness, Things I Wish I Could Unsee, Washington Capitals

Ten Things Green Will Be Doing NOT at the Olympics

Mike Green was recently “snubbed” by Team Canada and not put on the roster. So here’s ten things Mike Green will be doing NOT at the Olympics.

1. Writing some emo songs for the Baby Blue Sound Crew. Maybe he’ll write Team Canada a love song like the One Semester of Spanish Spanish Love Song.

2. Eating his weight in green jello and what ever flavor green ice cream is

3. Paint sad clown paintings

4. Hug Gary the bear

5. Get more flowery, I mean manly and totally not embaressing, tattoos



6. Catch up on some reading


blue·line or blue line (bloomacr.gifprime.giflimacr.gifnlprime.gif) n. Either of two blue lines running across an ice-hockey rink, usually 60 feet from each goal, and dividing the rink into defensive, neutral, and offensive zones.

7. Moonlight as a bartender


8. Hang out with another person who won’t be at the Olympics

Ohhhh I went there Pen’s Staal…

9. Go to the movies.

10. Make more commercials where he creeps in the backround!


Filed under HOT MESS!, Meghan's Blog, Mike Green, Pittsburgh Penguins, Random Ramblings, Random Video, Stupid Moments in Epic Awesome-ness, Things I Wish I Could Unsee, Washington Capitals