You Like Us, You Really Like Us!

Or at least you miss us. So, I’m sitting in a ridiculous class right now and I decided to check the blog, which I still do sporadically, just out of curiosity and surprisingly, we still have a fair amount of traffic coming through the site, especially for having been inactive since this season started. I want to thank everyone who still looks at this blog, whether they stumble upon through their (weird and wacky) search terms or because they have been checking it, anxiously awaiting our return.

Either way, thank you so much for taking the time to look at The Hockey Chronicles. It’s encouraging to know that some people out there believe that two high school girls ramblings about their favorite hockey team is worthwhile, even if for a moment.

Anyways, Meghan and I are both heading home for the summer in a few weeks and, while I cannot promise anything (especially because Meghan doesn’t know I’m posting this), we may kick-start this thing back up. At least for the summer. Because honestly, we’re both part of campus organizations that take up a lot of our time and blogging about hockey (when we both barely have time to watch hockey) is not on the top of our list of things to do… BUT we are going to be stuck at home working for the summer, so we will have some spare time on our hands… Of course, this is only tentative. Who knows what’ll happen in a couple weeks.

Thanks for spending at least a second of your lifespan reading this! GO CAPS!


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We’re Not Quite Hanging Up the Skates (Or I Guess Keyboards)

You might have noticed we haven’t updated the blog in a while. And after a bit of thinking about it your Chronicles bloggers would like to announce as of right now the blog is being put on hiatus.

This isn’t for any reason besides the fact we seriously just don’t have the time for it at this point. One day perhaps we will breath life back into the ol’ blog here; maybe even as soon within in the next year. But as of right now and the general vicinity of right now we won’t be posting.

We’ve had a better run then we ever imagined! This blog got bigger than we ever expected. We reached our goals for this blog and have a lot of great readers and you guys have been great to silly old us. Our fellow bloggers were also never anything but awesome to us which we never expected. Big thank you to the likes of Punch in the Face, Hockey is my Boyfriend (who were basically here from the very beginning,) Japers Rink and Russian Machine. So we don’t really want to completely give up the blog yet.

This isn’t so much “good bye” as a “see you later”.

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John Carlson: Fun Loving Kid or Death Machine?

Reader, today we discuss a serious subject. Now to discuss this serious subject I need to be able to assume one thing; that you are not Amish and therefore have access to technology and therefore I can assume at one point in your life you saw “I, Robot”, “Wall*E”, an episode of the “Twilight Zone” or “The Jetsons”.

Readers, feast your eyes upon this picture (borrowed from Russian Machine Never Breaks):

Ignore Ovie, clearly providing a public service and carefully checking the pulse of that club goer because as we know Ovie is always safety first,  and the rest of the club going sweaty masses and notice John Carlson. Look at his collar, his perfectly styled hair, his over all preppy appearance.

Kids, I believe John Carlson may be a robot sent by a (debatably evil or good) Canadian scientist where all they knew about American culture is what they saw from 1950s movies and “Mad Men” reruns. He looks like someone took a picture of an 1952 all-american varsity quarter-back and photoshopped it in to a club picture. Now for the evidence:

Exhibit A:

John Carlson appears to have three facial expressions, they are also almost always exactly the same when employed:



Mouth open/Eyebrow raise (versatile for many emotions)

Always accompanied by glassy, half closed eyes. Which leads us to…

Exhibit B:

He doesn’t even have to look at the net to score goals!

Why? Because he’s a robot! He’s got sensors, he doesn’t need your silly human eyeballs!

Exhibit C:

He’s from New Jersey. No human being actually comes from New Jersey.

Clearly, mutants from one of Jersey’s many chemical plants.

And, he wasn’t even born there; he voluntarily chooses to come from there. No human being in their right mind would do that.

Now why would a Canadian scientist send America a hockey playing robot? Well the scientist couldn’t very well test a robot out on one of their own teams now could they? What if it went horribly wrong? Well, they clearly never watched “The Twilight Zone” because that is exactly what happened for them. Guess they should have kept him after all.

Keep on, keepin’ on, John Carlson robot hockey player, as long as you don’t go ballistic or over heat and explode we are a-okay with each other.

Lastly: New Jersey readers, please do not hate me.



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Weagle Scout of the Game: Caps at Thrashers 10/8/2010

First Caps game of the year…. Oh f*** it I’ve got nothing to say to be honest.

Weagle Scout of the Game:

(Photo Credit: the Hockey News)

Brooks Laich

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Caps Convention 2010

The Capitals Convention of 2010 dawned on a chilly October morning. The Chronicles’ intrepid bloggers rolled in to the convention center and prepared for a crazy good time.

Well it ended up only being a pretty good time. Capitals Convention 2010 was certainly not as fun as the inaugural convention. I’d give it a solid “B” on a grading scale.

On a personal scale however it was a A million plus because I meet… my favorite Cap… my favorite goalie… and my second favorite NHL player ever…

I basically told Anna that if I didn’t get Olie’s autograph I would DIE and if I did get his autograph I would still DIE but of happy this time. It overlapped into our autograph slot and we were worried we would miss our wristband required one but I HAD HAD HAD to meet Olie and if anyone tried to stop me, I would throw myself upon the floor like a child and refuse to move.

Well it wasn’t that dramatic as Anna agreed to wait with me like the best friend/co-blogger anyone could ever have. I waited like a spaz and Anna commented that I was “fangirling out” and asked if I “was going to embarrassing myself” to which I replied “Please don’t let me say ‘I love you’.” to which she said “Oh god I want to see this. Go in front of me so I can watch.”

I did not say “I love you” you’ll be pleased (or disappointed if you enjoy my embarrassing myself) to hear. In fact I said nothing besides a mumbled “Thank you!” Then scurried away to freak out and run to our autograph session.

I was in the autograph line for

Chimera and Boyd Gordon. Chimera, as speedy in word as his is on foot, seemed to be peppering every fan with questions as he signed what ever they had, He asked me how I was doing as I handed him my item and when I said “Good, how are you?” he replied extremely enthusiastically “REALLY GOOD!” Boyd Gordon was unfortunately the victim of the fact that I had used all my word vomit control on Kolzig, I blurted out as I left “You’re my favorite! I’m really excited!” I apparently turn into a third grader once my word vomit control is all used up.

I only had one panel that was a must see and that was the kids ask the questions panel. It wasn’t quite as hilarious as last year with the dream team of Laich-Steckel-Bradley broken up but it was still pretty funny with Ovie-Bradley-Fehr.

When asked what their favorite TV shows were Bradley admitted that he was watching the “Jersey Shore” and said “They call me ‘the Situation’ you can figure out why.” Ovie while answering the question of what their favorite restaurants are couldn’t remember the name of one and when he did remember after a good minute of thinking cried out “JESUS CHRIST! *insert restaurant name as I didn’t hear as I was cracking up laughing*.” A little girl whose birthday it was asked if Brads and Fehr could sing Happy Birthday in English to them and Ovie to sing it in Russian and they obliged which was fantastic. Ovie also was asked by a little girl to say something in Russian and he did then he said it meant “You’re beautiful”. That received extreme “awww”s.

We also dropped in to see the Olie-Bondra panel but missed most since they moved it earlier than what the schedule said.

The convention this year was certainly fun. Some of it was much improved from last year (the sound system was incredibly improved.)  I meet Olie. That is going to be pretty tough to top next year.

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We’ll Be There, Will You Be?

Tomorrow. (A vague time) after the Caps Convention. Our recap(s?). Here.

Well unless I meet Olie Kolzig because then I’ll be dead of excitement. And, unless my ghost comes back to write a post you won’t be hearing from me. But, I digress, both Chronicles writers will be attending once again.

Two bloggers will enter but will they both survive the levels of excitement? Stay tuned…

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Two Contract Extensions. Two Vastly Different Reactions.

The Capitals signed two players to new contract extensions since yesterday. One makes me feel warm and fuzzy like I ate a kitten or something of equal fuzzy adorableness. The other makes me want to gargle with a shotgun. Of course I would never dare feel warm and fuzzy OR gargle with a shot gun because those are both highly dangerous things to do. (How is warm and fuzzy dangerous? Watch a tall person try to skip. It is a terrifying sight.)

The first of the two contracts was that Tom Poti signed a two year contract extension, $5,750,000 all together. As anyone knows watching Tom Poti stick his butt in the face of his own goalie on a nightly basis makes me want to punch nuns in anger. We all love Poti. He’s a swell guy and he tries so darn hard but wouldn’t he be better for the Caps on an opposing team? Like a double agent. Go forth agent double 003 and screen the other teams goalie to your hearts content. I will give you my undying love in such a case.

The seconds of the two is Michal Neuvirth for a two year, 1,150,000 per year contract extension. The time and money means there is very little to gripe about. We can see how he pans out in minimal cost and then consider how to go on from there. This contract is so good in fact I think I’ll go reenact this in public:

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